When I came to college, I did not expect to be as broke as I am. I thought that my life would begin to become perfect! I believed that I would be independent, happy, healthy, mentally stable, financially stable and most of all...pretty. It didn't take long to realize that I was so wrong! I have less money than I did when I lived at home, I always feel the need to rely on my family (even if they don't seem to care about my well-being), and 98.9 percent of the campus is more attractive than I will ever be!

I was given an assignment in class and the guest speaker asked the class if we had anything that we could afford to give away. She asked us if we had anything in large quantities, or in "abundance." It dawned on me that I have nothing to give away! I have no money, I have a limited amount of clothing, and my belongings are also limited. I guess that I have a ton of pillows if anyone would like them. I do believe that I have such an overflow of love, my heart is so big and I'm so willing to love each and every person around me! Sometimes my heart gets broken, because I love too hard, too fast, but if I could give away anything, it would definitely be love!

There are so many people in the world, who could stand to be loved more, or loved at all for that matter! R.L.S. one said, "You can give without loving, but you can never love without giving." To me, this contradicts everything that I have said...if this is true, I do not need any physical possessions in order to give. Just because a person gives, does not mean that they are loving, this does not mean that they love that person. Loving a person IS giving...you're basically giving a tiny (or giant) piece of yourself to someone.

But that is besides the point of what I am trying to say. I wasn't sure what to say, but here are some words that stumbled out:

"In all honesty, I do not have anything in 'abundance' that I can give away. I am struggling through college, and I can barely afford to be here, I owe money to a hospital, I have a bill for my tuition, I can barely afford to get home on holidays, and I am trying to get my life together so that my younger half-brother can live with me. The only thing that I can honestly give away would be good advice, because I have seriously been through it all and I'm still not done fighting. I wish that I could afford to give more away, but good advice is all that I have. We all need advice at some point in our lives right?

What do I need that I do not have? At this time in my life, I just need financial assistance. I do not want to buy clothes, food or anything else of that kind. I just want to continue to be able to afford my braces, that's all that I need. If that's the case, I guess that I need a job!

Giving away all of my possessions every year would be a struggle because, in America, we do not have festivals of giving away. I'd be down to nothing, and that's where I am right now...basically. I wish that my clothes were as nice as all the other girls here, I wish that I was as pretty as them, I wish that I had as much help as they do, but I don't, so if I gave away everything, I'd literally be down to nothing."

I now realize that coming to college betters you in many ways. First it breaks you down, then it builds you up. Ultimately, we're all climbing the ugly ladder of success.