For many straight, cisgender, questioning, and newly queer people, the LGBTQIA+ acronym and the ideas it encompasses can be intimidating. I'm writing this article to help clear it up!

L - Lesbian

This is the lipstick lesbian flag, which refers to lesbians who identify as traditionally feminine.

Lesbian generally refers to women attracted to other women. However, it's not unheard of for some nonbinarypeople to identify as a lesbian in order to explicitly denote their attraction to women, even though they don't identify as women themselves. Stud and butch both refer to masculine lesbians (as does dyke, a reclaimed slur that you shouldn't use if you're not one), femmes and lipstick lesbians refer to traditionally feminine gay women, and of course, there's a massive spectrum between the extremes (my favorite terms being futch and chapstick lesbian).

G - Gay

The iconic rainbow flag!

This started as a word specific to men attracted to other men, but has become an umbrella term (similar to queer). People who might otherwise identify as bisexual, lesbian, or queer may opt to use this term. It's also helpful to genderqueer people, or people who identify outside the gender binary, in avoiding a label that infers their own gender (like lesbian might).

B - Bisexual

The bisexual flag. The pink represents attraction to feminity, the blue to masculinity, and the purple is the intersection of the two.

Attraction to two genders, often meaning men and women. A term of similar meaning, pansexual, means attraction to all genders, or attraction regardless of gender. These are sometimes used interchangeably, though bi/pan individuals may choose different labels based on personal connotations.

T - Transgender

The transgender flag!

At birth, the doctor slapped your ass and called you a boy or girl based on your genitals. If you still identify that way, you're cisgender! If you don't still identify with the gender associated with your genitals, and instead identify with the opposite binary gender, you're transgender! If you aren't cisgender, but don't identify strictly as a woman or man (in the case of agender, nonbinary, or gender non-conforming people), you may or may not place yourself under the trans umbrella. The word transgender replaced the outdated word transsexual.

A note on grammar: the words transgender and trans operate like normal adjectives. A trans person is not "transgendered," "a transgender," "a trans," or a "transwoman," but a transgender person, woman, or man.

Q - Queer, Questioning

A Queer Dance Party outside of Ivanka Trump's house following the election of Donald Trump.

Queer is both an umbrella term and a stand-alone identity. It's an umbrella term in the sense that it can apply to anyone who is not cisgender and heterosexual, and it's own identity to some who aren't cishet but don't like the rigidity of other labels. I personally identify as queer: I'm attracted to women, androgynous people, and femmes (feminine people, regardless of actual gender identity), but gender is too fluid for me to confidently use lesbian, and (to me) bisexuality and pansexuality implies an equal and similar attraction to different genders, which isn't the case for me. Queer is simple and flexible!

Queer originated as a slur (and is often still used as one though it's largely been reclaimed). So if you aren't queer, don't refer to someone as queer unless they explicitly identify as such, and never use it as a noun (i.e. a group of queers).

"Questioning" is pretty self-explanatory: it refers to those who are struggling with their sexuality, gender, or both. Even if you're still working out the kinks (😇), you're welcome in the LGBTQIA+ community!

I - Intersex

When a child's phallus is too small to be considered a penis, but too large to be considered a clitoris, many doctors may undertake unecessary and damaging surgery to "correct" it so the child can be easily categorized as either male or female.

Contrary to popular belief, biological sex (meaning the combination of genitalia, chromosomes, and gonads) isn't binary. The term intersex encompasses the spectrum of people whose bodies do not fall into a category of either "male" or "female." Some may use (and you should not use) the outdated and offensive term, hermaphrodite.

A - Asexual, Agender

The asexual flag!

Asexuals experience little or no sexual attraction to others. It's different from abstinence and celibacy, both of which are conscious choices to refrain from sexual activity. Asexuals can experience romantic attraction, and they may enter into relationships. It's possible to be a straight, gay, bi, or aromantic asexual based on one's romantic attraction. Asexuality exists on a spectrum, and grey-asexuality refers to sexual attraction that only occurs when one has bonded with someone.

Agender is a gender identity that's a lack thereof. Agender individuals don't identify themselves as having a particular gender. It is similar to, but distinct from, being nonbinary or gender nonconforming.

+ - Everything in between

Drag queens: Drag isn't a sexuality or gender identity, but rather an art and a profession. Most drag queens are cisgender gay men, but more and more are coming out as nonbinary, genderfluid (like Violet Chachki), GNC, and transgender (Peppermint and Gia Gunn are two successful transgender women who are drag queens). I'm including it here because people often (erroneously) place it under the trans umbrella by spelling LGBT with an asterisk (LGBT*).

Genderfluid: A genderfluid person experiences a dynamic mix of gender. This may manifest in a constant feeling and expression of more than one gender (perhaps using they/them pronouns), or a different day-to-day expression of gender (using he/him, she/her, or they/them depending on the instance).

Gender non-conforming (GNC): This term can be used as an adjective or an identity. For instance, a butch woman or a male drag queen may use the term to describe themselves, because neither conforms to traditional gender roles. Many also use this to refer to their gender identity.

Nonbinary (NB, or enby): Nonbinary individuals don't identify as a woman or a man, and often use they/them pronouns. Nonbinary people, along with GNC or genderfluid people, may present androgynously. This term, along with genderqueer, can serve as an umbrella to all gender identities that aren't binary (neither man or woman).

Polyamorous: Polyamorous people desire and may have relationships with more than one partner with all partners' knowledge and willing consent. Cheating is not polyamory, and vice versa. Practicing polyamory can entail open relationships, or closed relationships of three or more people. Polyamorous people may or may not choose to identify as queer or as part of the LGBTQIA+ community, given that a polyamorous person can still be straight and cisgender.

And everything else: A true, exhaustive glossary of sexualities, gender identities, and other queer terms doesn't exist for two reasons: queerness and its definitions are constantly changing and expanding, and there is no consortium which decides the rigidity, inclusivity, and exclusivity of any term. Gender and sexuality are highly individualistic and fluid, and as such, every one of these terms may be debated.

If you're a cishet person and the depth and breadth of queerness seems intimidating, or even impossible, realize you don't have to fully understand every individual's identity. You can respect others' pronouns, relationships, names, and expressions without having an inside knowledge of how their relationship operates or of their gender identity.