Recent events in Orlando, FL, have reverberated through the LGBT+ community with the sounds of sadness, loss, terror and pride. In the wake of such an event, it is crucial that allies of the community step up and do what they can to provide comfort and create a safer environment for their friends and family.
Ask.
In times like these, it's never a bad idea to ask your loved ones how they're feeling; it's normal for people to feel afraid or unsafe after such a traumatizing event. Ask your loved ones if they're doing okay, as they may be too afraid to bring it up on their own.
Listen.
When someone is afraid, validation can be a strong comfort to let them know that their concerns are valid, and that you, the listener, genuinely care about the things that weigh heavily on their heart or mind. This is not the time for explaining, and not the time for “differing opinions”—it is a time for the kind of sensitivity and compassion that comes with uninterrupted listening.
Recognize.
Recognize the gravity of the situation. Over 100 people were shot. The killer didn’t want their money – didn’t want their possessions.
He wanted their lives.
Recognize how traumatizing that thought can be for members of the LGBT+ community, and be sure to handle the situation – and your friends – with the care and respect they deserve.
Stop.
Stop with the gay jokes. Stop with the “man in a dress” jokes. Stop using slurs like "f****t" and "tr***y."
Stop laughing at those jokes, and start calling people out for them.
Listening and laughing from the sidelines isn’t just “not starting things,” it’s allowing those jokes to persist. Stop them where they stand. And if someone tells you that something you’re doing is making them uncomfortable, do not argue; JUST STOP.
Educate.
You’re not perfect – nobody is. But what you can do to make sure you’re creating a safe environment for those you love is to educate yourself on the LGBT+ community. If you don’t know what a word means, look it up. If you don’t know why something is offensive, look it up. You will make mistakes, and that’s okay. The important thing is to educate yourself to make sure that the future that you and your loved ones are a part of is as safe and healthy as possible.
Otherwise, this will happen again.
