Being a teenager in high school is hard. Our parents tell us to just wait until we get in the "real world" but I don't think they truly understand how hard high school is now. We constantly worry about our grades, about not being liked, about being made fun of, about being embarrassed, and about a standardized test called the ACT. We do not however just worry about who our prom date is going to be. Not only are we constantly worrying, but we are constantly being judged.
In high school you are defined by the group of people you surround yourself with. There are usually five different categories you can be defined as: jock, prep, friendly, nerd and loner. For some of these people, being defined by those words is not bad. Although, for some of these people it is one of the worst feelings in the world. To have people constantly defying you by one word, by one group of people, and by one scenario sucks. The human body and the human mind is extremely complex. We have 206 bones in the body with different names yet you tell us that our soul can only be defined by one word. This is so not the case. Our souls are more than just "nerd" or 'friendly." Our souls are extraordinary and complex and beautiful. My advise to you is to stop defying yourself as the word that others are defying you as. They don't know you. No one in high school really knows you, they just think they do. So do not worry about what you are categorized as and start living.
On top of worrying and judging, we also lose people. Freshman year you start out with a solid group of about 12 friends and it seems as if at the end of senior year you walk across that stage with one friend, one sane mind, and one diploma. It is sad if you think about it. The worst part about it is when you see it happening. One day the people you were trying to survive high school with stop seeing you as interesting. The light in their eyes when they speak to you fades. Then the words that they once said to you and should be saying to you disintegrate. Then all that is left is silence. No words, no smiles, no laughs, and no friend. The memories that you have with them are still there, but you don't want to play them in the back of your mind. You don't want to relive them because it makes you wonder what you did wrong. The truth is, you did not do anything wrong. People grow a part as they grow into themselves. It is okay to lose friends, it is okay to not want to think about those memories, and it is okay to find yourself. My advise is to pick up your pieces and start running at the world full force. You have already hit rock bottom so you have nothing to lose. The world is full of magic, you just have to believe in it and chase it.
I am fixing to start college so I am sure you are wondering why I am writing about high school. It is because I have been there. I have been the one who worried, I have been the one who was defined by one word, and I have been the one who lost friends along the way. I know how it feels to have your entire world turned upside down. But I also know what it feels like to rise above the ashes. That feeling is better and that feeling is indescribable.
The most exciting thing about college to me is the fact that it is a clean slate. The day you walked off of that stage on graduation day in high school is the day that your "reputation" was reborn. If there was anything that I wanted when I was worrying, when I was being judged, and when I lost friends, it was a clean slate. I wanted to be able to start over. I want to use this fresh start in the best way to my ability. I want to run at this world with no fear, with no doubts, and with no expectations. I want to succeed at every single goal that I set for myself. I want to be able to have my dream job, to fall in love with my soul mate (preferably a replica of Nathan Scott), and to love and hold my future hildren every night. The most beautiful part about all of those dreams is that I know I can reach them with the Lord. I know that deep in my heart the Holy Spirit is going to guide me in the right direction to my dreams, to my very own Nathan Scott, and to my children. I have no fear with the Lord by my side. This is my clean slate.
What I am asking all of you to do is to stop looking back on high school and the pain you felt throughout it and to start believing in yourself and your clean slate. Stop worrying, stop defining yourself and others, stop thinking that it is your fault for losing friends, and start living. Let God lead you in the path that he has set for you. Achieve your own dreams, find your soulmate, and one day hold your children. This is a clean slate.
