So I graduated college almost two weeks ago. Hard to believe, but I guess all the days are just melding together right now. I already was having some weird feelings about graduation, as the end of my final spring break approached. But this whole coronavirus and quarantine thing hit, and then it I had even more feelings.

So I am stuck at home, in Hamden, CT, with no car, trying to find a job. And it's not going well. I have applied for so many jobs on Indeed and LinkedIn, and some of them will not get back to me. The ones that do are either a scam, or aren't interested. Indeed sometimes asks me to perform online assessments to prove that I'd be good at this job. I feel ridiculously unqualified for each job that I am applying for, and that I should just try to be a waitress. Even though those jobs are all out of the question right now.

And even if I get this job, I have no idea what will happen when the lockdown officially ends. Or where I am going to live. Or how I am going to get anywhere. Or how I am going to function for the rest of my life.

Because I don't feel like an adult. I feel like a student still. The fact that I am basically living in my parents' home doesn't help. I never got to have an official graduation also didn't help. I feel like I'm still a student, that I never officially finished my senior year.

I feel depressed that my senior year was basically cut off. There were a lot of things that I wanted to do before. I wanted to go to some events, like a roller skating event, seeing a stand up comic, and going to senior parties. I feel like I never got closure with college, and that my college career is unfinished. A virtual graduation is not enough.

I just don't feel like an adult. I feel like a student, who's barely trying to survive.