I may have wanted

the fairytale ending,

but I never asked for what came next

I didn’t realize

that when you put

your warm hands against my skin

the heat came

from the fingertips of the devil

I just thought

that maybe just maybe

it was the love

brewing in your soul,

but I guess all you wanted

was the physical rush

that ran through your body

when our lips came together,

I want to describe it as

The gentle flicker of a firefly at night,

but I cant keep lying,

I lie to my family

when they ask what we do together

because I know

I wont be let out of the house again

if the truth ever spills

like the stories that I tell my friends,

I whisper to myself that it’s nothing

as I only tell them the parts of the story

that make me feel like a princess

being held safe by my prince

I’m not ready to tell them

about the parts of my heart

that you have stained black

maybe that’s where the numbness

comes from,

I can still see the blood

as the blade cuts

through the fate line of my palm

sealing my destiny

in a crimson blanket,

but I no longer feel the sting of the tears

as I pray

to be taken

from this huge world

because you were supposed

to be my prince,

but instead of rescuing me

on a white horse,

you came in

and taught the dragon guarding my castle

to burn holes

through my fragile skin

and murder the butterfly of hope

that fluttered through my little world,

I guess you thought

I didn’t need to have faith in myself

for that would have given me

way too much power against you

in your eyes

I still tell myself that I am strong,

but that is just another lie

that stirs up the dust in the attic

where I hide away every feeling

that floats through my brain

as I wait for you to call my name

and ask for more.