In life, we have all had our fair share of negative experiences. Some may be minor such as failing a test we studied hard for to something major like being involved in an abusive relationship. No matter race, ethnicity, religion, morals, or political standpoint, we all have had experiences in our lives that have affected us in some way or another. Unfortunately, some of those experiences can cause lifetime bitterness towards people, situations, and affiliation; church included.

I was raised in the church for as long as I remember. I began consistently going at about 10 years old, which makes me a church kid. Through the years, I have encountered many people from all walks of life. Some came from a “religious” background while others had little or non at all. By meeting these people, I have gotten to see people’s viewpoints of the church, God, and religion as a whole. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve met more people who are no longer open to the idea of church or don’t currently attend. Why do you think that is? For some, they have been church hurt.

Church hurt means that a church congregation, leader, or member of a church has caused pain, suffering, judgment, or some other kind of hurt to an individual or their family. Within the past year alone, I could name a few people who have openly shared with me how they have been church hurt and are no longer open to the idea of going. When I hear these stories, it breaks my heart; this is not how it is supposed to be.

When speaking with these individuals, it isn’t even from one denomination or one demographic. No, across multiple platforms, these people have been turned away from the place that is supposed to be a safe haven for all. I wasn’t there to encounter all that had happened, but I know enough to know that this isn’t the heart of the Father. Jesus never once said, whether during his time on earth or in the Word, that people should be rejected by the church. He welcomed everyone. Their economic status, race, ethnicity, religious background, or even past mistakes didn't matter.

Jesus is very clear about what is sin and what isn’t, but he never told people, “Oh you did this, you’re not welcome here” or “Oh, you look like that, you’re condemned to Hell”. He welcomed everyone with open arms. He says, “Come to me all who are weary”. He says, “I came not to condemn the world, but that the world would be saved through me”. He says, “Come to me and I will give you rest”. Does this sound like what people who have been church hurt experienced? I think it is safe to say no.

Again, the Bible is very clear about what is sin and what isn’t in the eyes of the Lord. Jesus never gave a free pass to sin, but multiple times he did say, “Go, and sin no more”. He didn’t hate anyone; only the sin. During his brief time on earth, he hung out with prostitutes, tax collectors, the poor, adulterers, idolaters, and more. Why would He do that? Simply put, He loved people. He didn’t like what they did, but He came to show the heart of the Father. Jesus didn’t come to save some; no, he came to save all.

We all sin and make mistakes. Nobody on this earth is perfect. To those who have been church hurt, I’m sorry you were not shown the heart of the Father. I’m sorry you were exiled from church because of a mistake you’ve made. I’m sorry you didn’t see the love of God through the people who are supposed to represent him. I have not rejected people because they choose to believe something different than me. I simply live my life the way I believe God would like me to and welcome others for who they are. The decision is then up to them on how they choose their life.

I say all this to say, I pray for those who have been hurt by the church that they may someday be open to the idea again. I pray that what people have experienced from a church or leader from a church doesn’t turn them away from God completely. I pray for those who have hurt others in the name of God that they may see we can do better as a church. Jesus loves everyone. He died so that we may live through Him. It doesn’t matter your background; you are welcomed by the Father. I hope that through this, you’re able to look past the religion of people and see the true heart of the Father.