As finals draw near, my feelings of holiday cheer truly disappear. I know it seems sad, but I know a lot of college students who are feeling the exact same way this year.
Christmas obviously changes for everyone as we get older, but especially when you reach college age. You are not home for the month of December until just a week or two before Christmas. It feels like it approaches you, quickly, suddenly, and then you are scrambling to get everything together for the holiday.
I am especially feeling that this year. Between 5 papers, 5 finals, and clubs and everything in between, my schedule has not put me in the best place to incorporate holiday cheer. With a week left of school, I put my Christmas decorations out in an attempt to feel some sort of holiday cheer.
Yet, it still has been hard. For some reason it is harder to not think about college and schoolwork, and have holiday cheer. I have a lot of friends who have been feeling the same way this year in particular, and I wonder why that is. It could be that the holidays have just crept up on us all so fast, and finals have too.
I have been trying to think about Christmas as a kid lately. I remember Christmas Eve and how it used to be so magical. I would wish for snow and set out cookies and milk for Santa, and carrots for the reindeer of course. I would sit by the tree with my dog and listen to Christmas carols on our old CD player, and wait for my mom to tell me it was time to go to bed. And the next morning, the living room would be filled with presents, tree lit, and the milk and cookies gone. Even the carrots too. It was the best feeling ever, a feeling I yearn for sometimes.
I still love Christmas, and it is not like I do not enjoy it anymore. It is just a different feeling. It is more of a reflection every year, between school work and everything else. I reflect on those Christmases that once were so magical, that would make me so excited as the holiday approached. I try to hold onto those memories so I can reflect on them each year, so I do not feel as much as a Christmas blues.
But I will try to power through this year, and I know I am not the only one feeling this way, which makes it a little better. I will hang my Christmas decorations and play some holiday songs, and try not to worry too much about my assignments. Of course I will worry a bit and get frustrated, but it is important to remember that the holidays are a time to reflect, and sometimes that is not such a bad thing. I hope if you are feeling this way too, you find a little holiday cheer somewhere. I will try to find mine, and relive the Christmases I once loved.