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Politics and Activism

A Christmas List For The Trump Supporter In Your Life

Purely humor...with a tinge of honesty.

Sydney McNulty

Dec 12, 2016

Geneva College

A Christmas List For The Trump Supporter In Your Life

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1. Child-sized mittens

So they can feel a little like the President-elect this winter season.

2. Tanning goggles

For when the Trump supporter in your life wants to be as orange-skinned as our esteemed President-Elect.

3. A fake Trump University diploma

Because that was their first choice of schools...until it was revealed to be a scam.

4. An American flag

Because "America is the greatest d*** country in the world".

5. A "How To Be President: For Dummies" book

Self-explanatory.

6. Money

So they can "finance their own endeavors."

7. White out

So they can cover up what they say.

8. Nuclear launch codes

Because why not?

9. A mail-order bride, preferably from eastern Europe

Finding a Melania doppelgänger, anyone?

10. Chinese take-out

So they know what plotting a climate change hoax tastes like.

11. "Home Alone 2"

So they can watch Trump's cameo over and over and over and over and over again.

12. A Bible

They need Jesus.

Just a friendly, end-of-article reminder that, although it hits on some sore spots (sorry, Trump supporters), this article is purely written for humor!

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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A Christmas List For The Trump Supporter In Your Life

Purely humor...with a tinge of honesty.

1. Child-sized mittens

2. Tanning goggles

3. A fake Trump University diploma

4. An American flag

5. A "How To Be President: For Dummies" book

6. Money

7. White out

8. Nuclear launch codes

9. A mail-order bride, preferably from eastern Europe

10. Chinese take-out

11. "Home Alone 2"

12. A Bible

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Because have you ever had to endure grilling your foot on a George Foreman?

1. When he just wanted bacon from his George Foreman grill

2. When he had money (and Jan) issues

3. When he got upstaged at Phyllis' wedding

4. When he unintentionally saved Meredith from rabies

5. When he wore a "bisexual" suit

6. When he had to apologize to Jesus

7. When his GPS drove him into a lake

8. When he had to deal with Ryan as his boss

9. When he couldn't fulfill his most generous empty promise

10. When this happened

11. When he struggled with a X-Mas break up

12. When he had to defend his generosity

13. When he threw a classy Christmas party for Holly but she had a boyfriend

14. When he had to stand up to peer pressure

15. When Toby was "Toby-ish"

This isn't just for the single Pringles out there either, folks

Run Around Clanging Pots and Pans in Everyone's Face

Eat the Last Few Pigs in a Blanket

Pop Twelve White Grapes

Burn Something

Smash Things Against a Wall

Spontaneously Begin an Irish Jig

Call Your Mother

Throw a Coffee Table Out a Window

Sing "Auld Lang Syne" at the Top of Your Lungs

Do Some Squats

Swan Dive into a Nearly Freezing Body of Water

Take a Shot

Time to be merry and bright.

"First Noel" by Leslie Odom, Jr

"A Holly Jolly Christmas" by Burl Ives

"Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas" by Kelly Clarkson

"All I Want for Christmas Is You" by Mariah Carey

"Christmas (Baby Please Come Home" by Michael Buble

"Last Christmas" by Taylor Swift

"The Christmas Song" by Josh Groban

"White Christmas" by Idina Menzel

"O Holy Night" by David Archuleta

"Believe" by Josh Groban

"Les cloches du hameau" by Celine Dion

Or at least try to do.

1. I will wake up (sorta) on time for class.

2. I will look decent for class.

3. I will go to the gym more.

4. I will go to the library and study more.

5. I will meet new people.

For those long nights that turn into mornings when the struggle is real.

1. Walk in motivated and ready to rock

2. Disappointed you let it get this bad

3. Distracted: When a 10-Minute Break Becomes an Hour

4. When the Yearning for Sleep Sneaks Up

5. In the words of Lorelai Gilmore "Coffee, Coffee, Coffee"

Oh, so done.

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