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50+ Most Funny Christmas Jokes for Kids and Adults

Funny Christmas jokes that are capable enough to rib-tickle the funny bone of the most stubborn guy in your family.

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Dec 11, 2021

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We have reached the point from where you can count the arrival of the Christmas festival on your fingers. Christmas is one of the friskiest and funkiest festivals in the world. The fun of Christmas can be amplified a multitude of times by sending crispy merry Christmas jokes to near and dear ones. Not only funny Christmas jokes will induce cheer to the whole environment but also give everyone a needed chance to make fun of each other and get nostalgic about childhood memories. To save you from the daunting process of carving hilarious Christmas jokes on your own, we have come up with a handful of the most funny Christmas jokes that are capable enough to rib-tickle the funny bone of the most stubborn guy in your family.

What is a French Santa’s favourite Christmas drink?
Eau, eau, eau!

Why didn’t the pirates go pirating at Christmas?
They were in lockdown because the “Arrrr!” rate had risen.

What do you call a snowman with a six-pack?
An abdominal snowman!

How do you make an Octopus laugh?
With ten-tickles, Merry Christmas and happy holidays!

Opened one of my Christmas presents and all that was in it was a single grain of rice?! …
I think it was from my Uncle Ben

What does Santa use to measure?
Santameters!

Why didn’t Rudolph get a good report card???
Because he went down in history.

Who hides in the bakery at Christmas?
A MINCE SPY

What does Christmas and weirdo’s have in comman?
Fruitcake.

What do you get if you cross Santa with a duck?
A Christmas quacker.

What do snowmen like to do on the weekend?
Chill out.

What do you call a blind reindeer?
I have no eye deer.

Santa is the main Clause.
His wife is a relative Clause.
His children are dependent Clauses.
Their Dutch uncle is a restrictive Clause.
Santa’s elves are subordinate Clauses.

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50+ Most Funny Christmas Jokes for Kids and Adults

Funny Christmas jokes that are capable enough to rib-tickle the funny bone of the most stubborn guy in your family.

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"I want to thank Google, Wikipedia, and whoever else invented copy and paste. Thank you."

1. I'm so tired. I need a nap. Maybe I can sleep with my eyes open in class? Or pretend I'm not napping?

2. We have a test today? Why didn't anyone tell me? Did I know this?!

3. Can I quit school yet? It's only October, and I need a vacation.

4. The struggle is so real.

5. I'm so broke. SOS.

6. Stressed? Eat everything you own in your pantry and stuff your face with all your feelings.

7. "Did we have anything due in class today? Homework? Quiz? Test?" "Not that I know of..."

8. I need food. Where is the closest place to get food? I need it stat.

9. This is the longest day of my life. I need a drink, or two, or three.

10. Sleep? What is sleep? What a foreign concept.

11. When someone suggests going and studying in the library, let alone studying in general.

12. When the cafeteria or student center is packed and you can't find a seat anywhere so you literally have to sit in an abandoned corner.

13. When you see someone you used to hook up with. They see you, and approach you; so you have to pretend like everything is normal.

14. When you get your exam and realize you didn't study as much as you should have.

15. When you crush it on an exam or paper that you totally bullshitted.

16. I need a grande, extra strong coffee to get me through today.

17. When the professor announces you have a project due the following week with no instruction on what it's on and how to do it.

18. Is it Friday yet? Where's the weekend when you need it most?

19. It's freezing in here. I feel like I'm sitting in an igloo. I should have brought a jacket or worn long pants.

20. Did I remember my book? Damn, I forgot the book, and of course I need it for that quiz in class.

21. I would pay a million dollars to not go to class today; or actually never again.

22. I need a hoverboard to ride to class. Maybe then I wouldn't be running 15 minutes late to class every day.

23. Oh she/he's cute! I wonder if they're single. Who are they texting? They're BF/GF? I wonder if they think I'm cute. Could they be a potential new bae?

24. Why is there never any parking? I pay thousands of dollars a year for one parking spot to be open.

25. When it feels like you've been in class for an hour and you look at your phone and it has only been five minutes (I'm crying on the inside).

26. When the professor asks if there are any more questions at the end of class and someone raises their hand.

27. When you get assigned the most incompetent group of people possible for a group project.

28. I need a comfort dog so I can avoid all life and school responsibilities.

"A Christmas Story" is the star on top of the tree.

Who isn't stressing out over finals right now?

'tis the season to be jolly!

May the odds be ever in your favor.

Phase One: The “I got this” phase

Phase Two: The “I have time” phase

Phase Three: The uncontrollable sobbing phase

Phase Four: The “help me, I've fallen and I can't get up” phase

Phase Five: The rejoicing phase

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