Being Cozy

Wool mittens. Warm fireplaces. Steaming cups of cocoa. Fluffy sweaters. These images implant an idea of winter coziness in your mind, and as you pull on your sweater and stroll about holding your mug, you know you’re living the Christmas dream! And you think to yourself, “Why do people complain about winter? Being cozy is the greatest of all time!”

Being Just Really, Really Cold

Back in reality, you realize coziness is awesome until you have to step outside, where you remember winter is just really, really cold. No amount of mittens and sweaters and hats can help you; you can’t always walk around cradling a mug of cocoa. Don’t buy into the media propaganda! So scrape the frost off your windshield and remember that coziness is an unachievable goal.

A White Christmas

Yeah, it’s a cliché, but you’d be lying if you pretended you didn't really want a White Christmas. Snow is by far the most beautiful precipitation, and waking up to a yard of snow would be a Christmas miracle (especially if you live in the south)! So you hope and pray for your own White Christmas while listening to “I’m Dreaming of a White Christmas” on repeat for 6 hours.

A Weirdly Warm Christmas

But weirdly warm weather has a way of smacking you in the face. When you peek out your window on Christmas and see no snow, you hope at least for it to be cold outside. So imagine your disappointment when you step outside, and it’s 60 degrees! Not only is there no snow, it’s also warm. So suck it up and get used to warm disappointment.

Watching Christmas Classics With Your Family

You can just picture your whole family gathered on the couch to watch Christmas classics like White Christmas, Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer, and It’s A Wonderful Life. There’ll be laughing and popcorn and candy and countless heartwarming moments! You just can’t wait!

Missing Christmas Classics on Regular TV and Having to Browse Netflix Instead

But when your family forgets to record the Christmas classics, and you have to sift through Netflix to find a Christmas movie. This only leads to minor arguments and major boredom, and your Christmas classic dream is ultimately crushed by technology and family squibbles.

Having Fun While Christmas Shopping

In the movies, Christmas shopping is glamorous, exciting, and completely line-less. You can imagine yourself finding the perfect gifts for everyone on your list, drinking tall cups of coffee, and admiring beautiful window displays in the mall.

Going Crazy While Christmas Shopping

However, once you actually go Christmas shopping, you remember how awful it actually is. You’re always in everyone’s way. There’s always long lines at the registers. And you just can’t find the right gift in the right size in the right spot. As you walk across the hellscape that is your local department store, you realize shopping is probably the worst part of Christmas and commercialization is poisoning this sacred holiday (Charlie Brown was onto something).

Taking Charming, Candid Christmas Pictures

You scroll through your Instagram feed and see your friends’ charming, candid Christmas pictures: their little siblings having wrapping paper fights, their mothers laughing while baking, and their grandparents smiling at each other. You can’t wait until you capture all your own candid holiday moments to remember the season by!

Taking an Awkward, Staged Family Photo

But no such moments arrive, and instead, you're dragged to the Christmas tree and forced to take a group shot with your whole family. It’s a very cramped, somewhat awkward photo that your cousin’s boyfriend was pressure to take.

Eating Tons of Amazing Food

Christmas food is the food of the gods: cookies, cakes, pies, hot drinks! It’s all amazing, and you can’t wait to just eat and eat and eat until you can’t fit anymore food in your body. Who cares how much you eat, you need to stock up on amazing food before you return to school and sad cafeteria meals.

Eating Tons of Amazing Food and Getting Really Sick

Well, the thing about eating tons of heavy, rich food is you’ll definitely start to feel ill. This is also an unpleasant reminder that you’re getting older, as you used to be able to eat everything all the time without a single, physical repercussion. Reality is hardly your friend when it comes to eating.

Decorating Your Family’s Christmas Tree

Decorating your family’s Christmas tree is a magical experience full of beautiful lights and shiny ornaments. What’s more, your family is all together and happy and working together to create something wonderful! You just can’t wait to decorate your tree!

Remembering How Tiring Decorating a Tree Is

Decorating your tree, however, is only fun and games for the first ten minutes, and then you remember how tiring it is. Leaning up and down, walking around the tree endless times, testing out lights to see if they still work, and cleaning up fallen bristles! It’s basically an unofficial Winter Olympic sport, and not at all as you imagined it!

Finding the Perfect Gift for Your Parents

Your parents are wonderful and have always scored you some awesome presents, and this year, you want to really get them something nice! So you scour the internet and the mall to find them the perfect gift, and there it is: something wonderful that your parents will love!

Not Being Able to Afford the Perfect Gift for Your Parents

So you finally found the perfect gift, and then, you check the price tag. And immediately start crying. Your parents deserve everything and you can’t afford everything! You can hardly afford anything. You’re just going to have to save up for next year.

But all in all, Christmas ends up being perfect in its own unexpected ways, and even your expectations may not turn out, the reality has its own kind of holiday charm.