Recently, the use of dating apps by Christians has come under a lot of controversy. There have been heated arguments both for and against the use of dating apps by Christians, and honestly, it is not an easy topic to discuss. Which apps are okay? How do you present yourself as a Christian on an app like Tinder? Are all dating apps really hook-up based, or is that just a stereotype? When I decided to write this article, I knew that I wanted to include opinions from both ends of the spectrum. So, I decided to interview every Christian I could find who was willing to let me, and I've compiled their answers here in this article.
*Some responses have been lightly edited for length, clarity, and spelling. Some names have been changed at the request of the interviewee whose comments are listed.
Kate, 19, Methodist
Apps used: Tinder and Bumble
Reason for joining: "I wasn't meeting many guys on my own so I thought trying out an app would be a good way to meet new people! I also wasn't in the best place spiritually or mentally, and I honestly think I just felt desperate, as bas as that sounds."
Positive experiences: "I met 2 really nice guys! It never went further than one meeting, but it was nice to see that there were actually guys on Tinder looking for something real."
Negative experiences: "The stigma. I didn't want to tell anyone how I met the 2 guys because I was afraid of how it would look because Tinder doesn't have the best reputation, and I was a little ashamed of it. I'm also the type of person that wants to get to know someone first, and since with dating apps you are going from 0 to a date, I wasn't super comfortable with that."
Recommendation for other Christians: "I don't have anything against dating apps, but I would say if you are going to use them, take time to get to know the person. Be their friend first and see if you would actually want to date them. I don't know that I would recommend them for Christians, but I don't there's anything wrong with giving them a try."
Hannah, 22, Church of Christ
Apps used: Tinder, Bumble, and Plenty of Fish
Reason for joining: "I joined because I felt lonely after many failed relationships. I really just wanted to meet someone new.
Positive experiences: "I met new people and made friends."
Negative experiences: "There were so many guys who just wanted to be "friends with benefits" and they seemed to flock to my inbox. Then they made me seem like a bad person when I turned them down. It's also hard to trust someone you meet online because what you see on your profile isn't always what you get in person."
Recommendation for other Christians: "I think dating apps are a good idea to a certain extent. For example, if you meet someone who has not accepted Christ, you can minister to them. I would recommend dating apps to other Christians, but I would advise them not to settle for just anyone or let anyone talk them into anything that could be potentially harmful."
Justin, 22, Baptist
Apps used: Tinder
Reason for joining: "All of my friends at the time were using it. I was single and struggling with loneliness so I gave it a shot. I was also not really serious about my faith at the time."
Positive experiences: "You're bound to match with someone eventually, so you meet new people."
Negative experiences: "It is a hookup culture app, and temptation in your mind follows that notion. Most people you meet are just as lonely as you, which can lead to an unhealthy relationship in the long run. I also never met someone on there who was serious about their faith, including myself when I had it. The app causes you to judge people based only on looks with the left and right swiping set-up, because very few if any people read bios."
Recommendation for other Christians: "They're not a good idea. The app won't 'make you sin,' however it definitely will be full of people that you probably wouldn't consider dating if you knew them on a real, personal level. I don't recommend them."
Amy, 19, Baptist
Apps used: Tinder
Reason for joining: "Boredom."
Positive experiences: "It really boosts my self-confidence, and I've met some pretty cool people."
Negative experiences: "Some people can be straight up rude if you ignore or reject them."
Recommendation for other Christians: "I think they are a good way to meet people if you're struggling. I think they're a good idea if used properly, and I would recommend them."
Nikita, 22, Christian (no denomination specified)
Apps used: Tinder, Christian Mingle, and Plenty of Fish
Reason for joining: "I felt alone, and I heard of a lot of good turnouts from certain apps."
Positive experiences: "None."
Negative experiences: "A lot of people are on those apps for all the wrong reasons. I didn't realize how detrimental their attitudes would be. People are very vulgar and don't seem to care about anyone else's feelings or emotions."
Recommendation for other Christians: "I wouldn't recommend them. Even Christian dating apps aren't good anymore because no one is there for a good relationship. It sucks because you can't really be yourself, and a lot of people lie to make themselves look better on apps. I have to keep telling myself that God has a plan for my life, and it doesn't include a dating app."
Mark, 22, Catholic
Apps used: Tinder
Reasoning for joining: "Curiosity, to be completely honest. I wanted to see what was out there and what could happen."
Positive experiences: "I've made some great friends and experienced situations I never would've experienced without the app."
Negative experiences: "Some of those experiences were super awkward or pressuring."
Recommendation for other Christians: "Dating apps to me are both good and bad, due to people painting themselves as someone they want to be but not who they really are. It depends on the honesty of the user. I would recommend it to others if you are set in your own intentions."
Jess, 19, Nondenominational
Apps used: Tinder, Yellow, and Badoo
Reasoning for joining: "I pretty much joined to meet people and if something came out of it it would be cool too, and it actually did!"
Positive experiences: "I met some cool people that I still talk to today even though it's not on romantic terms or anything. I also met my current boyfriend on Yellow. We have been dating for 2 years and 4 months today."
Negative experiences: "People would just be really gross looking for booty calls 24/7 and all that."
Recommendation for other Christians: "I think it depends on the person honestly. I feel like if other Christians weren't used used to vulgar and sexual things, then that would be something I would give them a heads up on. But if you're careful and know who you are and what you want/don't want, then I think it's okay!"
Lily, 20, Assemblies of God
Apps used: Hinge, Tinder
Reasoning for joining: "Just for fun."
Positive experiences: "Connecting with and talking to new people."
Negative experiences: "I started an unhealthy relationship from a dating app."
Recommendation for other Christians: "I probably wouldn't recommend a dating app to another Christian, but I do think they can be beneficial if you use them with the right intentions and are strong in your faith."
Melissa, 21, Nondenominational
Apps used: Tinder
Reasoning for joining: "I was very single and so was one of my friends and we both dared each other to stay on it 2 weeks to see the dm's we would get. It was a hot mess."
Positive experiences: "There were maybe three guys that actually just wanted to genuinely meet people. I actually talked to those guys, but the other dm's I got were pretty funny as well. Guys' bios are a hoot."
Negative experiences: "A lot of guys looking for the wrong things from the wrong girl sliding into my dm's, and a lot of pictures I did not want to see."
Recommendation for other Christians: "I honestly know a lot of people who have met off of dating apps. I don't really look to my Christianity for my stance on this, though. I have grown up believing old fashioned. I have met a lot of guys on social media and every time I date someone after meeting on a social media platform, I always feel guilty that I fell for looks first and that's not how dating or marriage is supposed to be and to back that up, read 1 Samuel 16:7. As a Christian, we should strive to be like Christ in every aspect whether it's dating or even just befriending someone. I met my current boyfriend in person and that was always a goal of mine...to meet my husband in person. I would not recommend them to other Christians."
Jaylon, 21, Christian (no denomination specified)
Apps used: Tinder, Bumble
Reasoning for joining: "There aren't many realistic scenarios to meet someone new in person without it being creepy or awkward."
Positive experiences: "I actually met some people who weren't just on the app for hookups and one night stands. There were people who genuinely wanted to get to know me, even if we never progressed to the stage of dating."
Negative experiences: "The amount of people that wanted something serious that also matched with me were few and far between."
Recommendation for other Christians: "They have the possibility to connect you with other Christians, but they also have a huge downside with the level of temptations that are readily present. I would recommend them with caution, especially in regards to knowing the strength of their walk with God."
Jake, 18, Church of Christ
Apps used: Tinder and Bumble
Reasoning for joining: "I was just looking to see what all the hype was about."
Positive experiences: "I met several wonderful people."
Negative experiences: "t seemed very dry because most of the time I had no interest in the girls that had an interest in me."
Recommendation for other Christians: "I think they are perfectly fine, but I would only recommend them on a college campus or somewhere like that where there is a larger pool of potential matches."
Julio, 20, Baptist
Apps used: Tinder and Bumble
Reasoning for joining: "I joined to find a significant other or even just more friends."
Positive experiences: "Some people are true to what they say and actually are nice human beings."
Negative experiences: "Some only display what they want the world to see so you never know who they truly are until later on in the relationship."
Recommendation for other Christians: "I think they are okay if used with the right intentions, and if the user is cautious."
Bethany, 18, Church of God
Apps used: Tinder and Bumble
Reasoning for joining: "Boredom."
Positive experiences: "It helps boost your confidence and helps you meet new people."
Negative experiences: "There are guys that make derogatory statements and just want one thing, but that is something you expect to happen."
Recommendation for other Christians: "They aren't a bad idea, because with all relationships you have to get to know each other and dating apps are there to help introduce you to potential partners. I would recommend them, but not in a sense where I would say 'Hey, you should get tinder, because you can find a lot of guys with your same views and are gentlemen.'"
Vannah, 18, Baptist
Apps used: Tinder
Reasoning for joining: "It was mostly a joke, and I wanted to see what it was like."
Positive experiences: "I met my current boyfriend."
Negative experiences: "Some people on there are very overtly sexual and obsessive."
Recommendation for other Christians: "I don't see a problem with them as long as they are used to find an actual good relationship with good intentions. I would probably recommend them to other Christians."
Jordan, 21, Baptist
Apps used: Tinder
Reasoning for joining: "To meet new people and go on dates, and to help ease the singleness."
Positive experiences: "Good conversation, validation, and being pursued."
Negative experiences: "Hookups, not knowing what people are like in person, and the creepiness of online dating."
Recommendation for other Christians: "I'm not sure if I would recommend them to other Christians or not. I have mixed feelings about this because it seems wrong but also our generation has changed communication in all aspects. Dating is one of them. Maybe apps like this are the new way to connect and meet people."
Tammy, 18, United Methodist
Apps used:
Reasoning for joining: "A friend convinced me to."
Positive experiences: "I talked to some nice guys who actually did display Christian values and beliefs."
Negative experiences: "People were very turned off by the fact that I was so up front about being a Christian and I was often left on read."
Recommendation for other Christians: "I haven't really formulated a strong opinion, but I do think we as Christians should be careful. I would probably recommend them to other Christians."
Kayla, 18, Christian (no denomination specified)
Apps used: Tinder
Reasoning for joining: "Just to try it out."
Positive experiences: "I met good people who showed a sense of interest."
Negative experiences: "A lot of the people were rude."
Recommendation for other Christians: "I think dating apps can be a great idea, and I would recommend them to anyone who may be interested."
Tyler, 20, Baptist
Apps used: Plenty of Fish and Tinder
Reasoning for joining: "I don't go out much so I thought it was a good opportunity to meet and get to know new people."
Positive experiences: "Honestly none."
Negative experiences: "People just wanting hook ups and not anything serious. Catfishes. (People pretending to be people they weren't) inappropriate and unwanted pictures being sent to me."
Recommendation for other Christians: "If you can look past all the negatives I listed then I think they can be good. I do believe there are a few good people with the right intentions on dating apps but they are very hard to find. I probably wouldn't recommend them to another Christian."
Evelyn, 18, Southern Baptist
Apps used: Tinder
Reasoning for joining: "I thought it would be a great way to get over my ex. It's how my sister met her fiancé. I wasn't looking for sex. Just a way of figuring out what I want in terms of a relationship."
Positive experiences: "I got to meet all sorts of guys, and a lot were very nice and have become great friends of mine."
Negative experiences: "A lot of it is just looking for sex. As a virgin, that isn't what I'm looking for. I didn't know any other way of meeting guys to date. I know Tinder is a hookup app, but I know plenty of people who have gotten into a very committed relationship from the app."
Recommendation for other Christians: "I think it puts temptation in front of you. I easily opposed the temptation, but others may not. Some may get into things they did not realize they didn't want. I might recommend a dating app to another Christian if I knew it was someone who valued purity and waiting until marriage and who wouldn't easily fall into lust."
Jane, 19, Lutheran
Apps used: Tinder
Reasoning for joining: "To meet a cute guy."
Positive experiences: "I met some cool people."
Negative experiences: "I also met some really weird guys."
Recommendation for other Christians: "I think they can be good, and I would recommend them."
Lexi, 19, Nondenominational
Apps used: Tinder and Hot or Not
Reasoning for joining: "To find new guys that are genuine."
Positive experiences: "None."
Negative experiences: "Guys just try to have sex and that's basically that's all they want."
Recommendation for other Christians: "I don't think they're a good idea, and I wouldn't recommend them unless all you want is sex."
Erin, 19, Christian (no denomination specified)
Apps used: Bumble
Reasoning for joining: "It's an easier alternative to meet people than going out."
Positive experiences: "It helped boost my confidence and I met some really good friends on the apps."
Negative experiences: "A majority of people were interested in one thing and that was not building a relationship."
Recommendation for other Christians: "I think they are a good idea and I would recommend them to other Christians."
Anne, 20, United Methodist
Apps used: Tinder and Bumble
Reasoning for joining: "To find someone I clicked with."
Positive experiences: "It is easy to talk to people."
Negative experiences: "The expectations are rough."
Recommendation for other Christians: "If you put out there what you're looking for, you'll generally attract others looking for the same things. If you use them correctly I would recommend them."
Tori, 21, Methodist
Apps used: Bumble and Tinder
Reasoning for joining: "Boredom."
Positive experiences: "I've met nice guys."
Negative experiences: "Some people are creeps."
Recommendation for other Christians: "They're maybe not always a good idea, but they're a good way to meet people. I might recommend them to other Christians."
Molly, 19, Southern Baptist
Apps used: Tinder
Reasoning for joining: "For fun, and to see what guys were around."
Positive experiences: "A couple of people reached out and they were really nice but I never responded, so I guess technically none."
Negative experiences: "None."
Recommendation for other Christians: "I think it depends on why you're there. I did it almost to be ironic. I had no intention of actually meeting these people but found it inticing and interesting to see what kinds of people were around me. I think as a Christian on a dating site you have to be clear with your intentions to yourself before agreeing to actually meet someone. Often times these apps are used for things that I don't necessarily agree with and it's important to be cautious and honest with ourselves when we join apps like these. I don't think I would recommend them because I don't ever want to be the cause of someone else stumbling."
Allison, 19, Methodist
Apps used: Bumble and Tinder
Reasoning for joining: "Just to look and open my options a little bit."
Positive experiences: "I had some fun conversations."
Negative experiences: "A lot of guys just want hook-ups and not an actual relationship."
Recommendation for other Christians: "I think they are a good idea. I just feel like in this time period dating is all about sex and nothing else to most. So yes it's going to be harder to find the actual Christians and not give into the temptations, but if one can then it's a great way to find companionship. I would probably recommend them, depending on the person."
Angel, 19, Southern Baptist
Apps used: Tinder and Bumble
Reasoning for joining: "I was at a really low point as far as confidence, and I kind of just wanted to know that people found me attractive as shallow as it sounds. I also just wanted to see what kinds of people were on there, and if there was anyone I knew in real life."
Positive experiences: "It really boosted my confidence to get matches, and I actually did meet some good Christian guys on there. A lot of the guys I met were really sweet and genuine, but I never dated any of them. The bios were also really fun to look through, because a lot of guys put in A LOT of effort."
Negative experiences: "There were obviously creeps, and a lot of guys just looking for sex. It was also kind of a let down if someone I thought was really cute or cool based on their photos/bio and then didn't match with them, or worse, matched with them and then was ignored if I sent them a message."
Recommendation for other Christians: "I think dating apps can be good for Christians if they're used in the right way. I have a lot of friends that met good Christian people on dating apps that they are still in solid relationships with. I say find yourself first and be strong in your faith, and then go for it if you want. If the temptation gets to be too much you can always delete it. You never know what God's plan is for you or how He plans for you to meet your future spouse."
All in all, dating apps are a tricky subject for Christians. It is important to know your own intentions and to be mindful of the intentions of others. Thank you so much to everyone who helped make this article possible!
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