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Yes, I'm A Christian, And Yes, I Still Struggle

Life with faith is not all rainbows and butterflies and put together with coffee, a Bible verse, and a nice Instagram filter.

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Yes, I'm A Christian, And Yes, I Still Struggle
Among Friends- A Blog For Women

Alright, there's something that we need to get straight.

I want you to leave all biases, stereotypes, and preconceived notions right on this line.

In order for you to really hear what I have to say, all of that has got to be left behind.

Because I'm here to tell you my side of the story, a side you may not see often as a bystander. This is a story about faith, about how beautiful of a gift it is, and how hard life continues to be, even after you find it.

I was born and raised in a Roman Catholic Church. Long story short, I've had my fair share of ups and downs in this department of my life. A lot of questioning, anger, and crying. As time has gone on, I have rejected the doctrine of religion, and really focused on my spirituality. However, I acknowledge and appreciate my upbringing in an environment where I was only taught religion. It wasn't until I was 18 years old where I discovered the gift of faith. What most Christians would deem that pivotal moment in time is called being "saved."

Now here come the stereotypes of modern-day Christians, who have a label that brings along a lot of negative stigmas. I will admit, I've met people who I know you're thinking of in your head right now: the people who think less of people who aren't practicing "Christians," (or any other religion for that matter.) They are the people who look down and judge people for their mistakes and hardships, as if they have none of their own. Because others sin differently than them, they hold themselves on a higher pedestal. I get it, I really do. These kind of people get under my skin, too.

But what I am here to tell you, is that just because I consider my faith to be a big part of who I am, doesn't mean that I think any higher of myself, or that my life is easier. I struggle just as much as the next person. Life with faith is not all rainbows and butterflies and put together with coffee, a Bible verse, and a nice Instagram filter. Life is hard: it is agonizing, it is back-breaking, and it challenges me just like everyone else. A common misconception is that people who find God (or whatever they put their faith in) simply have their troubles washed away. We try to paint this perfect life with our Creator for everyone to see, and I think people have lost sight of what's really important.

And honestly, I'm really tired of people thinking they know me because I'm a Christian; who I am, and what I'm about. Just because I believe in God, and everybody knows it, does not mean that I am automatically happy all the time or that I have everything figured out. Just because I'm a "Sister Christian," doesn't mean that I don't have to face my demons head on, suffer through life's tragedies, and question everything about life's existence. It's ironic, because some of the most judgmental people I know are the ones who have criticized my faith, not the other way around.

I have struggles of my own. I deal with temptation, falling into bad habits, and I constantly struggle with forgiveness and holding grudges. Carrying anger in your heart weighs you down, and can literally make you feel ill. I know I should just let it go, that we are all children of God, loved equally and passionately. But you know what? I'm only human, and I still get pissed off at people who do stupid things, which I carry with me far longer than I should.

If you're still with me, what I'm trying to say, is that a belief in God, or a public proclamation of faith, does not automatically give someone a free "life is great" card. There are times where I know I have a dark cloud over me, when I'm not in the best mood, and I'm not the nicest person in the world. I am flawed, and I say that in the realest sense of the word. And I know that other people feel that way too. The only difference I can find between us, is a different perspective of life.

So for those who judge those who don't live life according to your rules, get off your high horse, and cut everyone a little slack.

For those who feel they are not worthy, or have been turned away from faith, I ask you to cut yourself a little slack, because I know the God I believe in wants nothing more than the chance to get to know you, and what's really on your heart.

For those who feel jaded by religion, and want nothing to do with it, I understand. I only ask that you keep an open heart and an open mind, so that one day, in whatever form it may come to you, faith has the opportunity to change your life, the way it did mine.

And for those who are in the same boat as me, who are continually struggling to live up to the expectations of being "the perfect Christian," I say to you, stop. Stop caring about what other's think of you, because the only opinion you should be worried about is your Creator's. Stop beating yourself down when you mess up, because you know you are trying your best with good intentions.

All in all, we're all just people, trying to make it through life to the best of our abilities. It shouldn't matter we are labeled as, but what's in our hearts, and how we can help each other out.

Life isn't fair to all of us. Let's stop making this a competition of who's got it better or worse, and just start loving people.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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