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I May Just Be A Regular Guy, But God Sure Spoke To The Poet In Me

This is intended to be a humorous poem, but I'll let you be the judge of that.

Matthew Hasty

Nov 28, 2018

University of Kentucky

I May Just Be A Regular Guy, But God Sure Spoke To The Poet In Me

@biblesandcoffee

Once upon a time, on a very large college campus

A journalism student struggled to come up with story ideas.

His brain tried to think long and hard about what to write

But, to no avail, there were no ideas

I guess you could say this man was screwed

Up the crap creek without a paddle

This guy needed to think of something quick, for the deadline was quickly approaching

But his brain stayed quiet, not even a rattle.

This guy is about ready to blow his top

The editors keep pestering

This man has had enough

He is swollen with anger, the anger is festering

He wants to cuss out his teacher, everyone all around

The venom is about to come out of his mouth

But, all of a sudden

The Spirit came about

The man opened his mouth, ready to release

The anger deep inside him, ready to pop, pow!

But God stopped his tongue before he could form the words

The sound that came out of his mouth, the Chick-fil-a cow!

He wanted to cuss

Moo this and moo that

But The Holy Spirit

wasn't going to let him do that.

Finally, he just cried, because God convicted his heart

Of all the anger he had inside him

He just fell apart

Down to his knees, he fell about.

The man said "Lord, I had been such a fool"

"Why did I get mad?"

"Lord, you are so awesome!"

"Now, Lord, I feel bad."

God spoke to the man

God lifted up his face

God said "I love you, my child"

"Now rest in my redeeming grace!"

The man had so much joy

He couldn't control himself

The Lord's love was inside him

He was a jolly, bouncy Elf.

He grabbed the nearest person, tight in his hands

The man said "The Lord loves you, and I love you too"

The Lord is merciful, glorious, fantastic

The Word of God is good and true.

The person scoffed and said "That man is a nut"

"He is rambling on about preposterous things, he truly is insane."

But the Lord just watched as the love

Transformed the man, truly he's changed.

This is a story about a student who got right with God

Turned from his ways

He said "Lord, be with me always. Hold me and strengthen me"

"Let me love like You, Lord, all of my days."

You have a choice, God gives you free will

To choose the world or His redeeming grace

It is up to you to choose what's best,

"But as for me and my house, let me never leave God's place"

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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I May Just Be A Regular Guy, But God Sure Spoke To The Poet In Me

This is intended to be a humorous poem, but I'll let you be the judge of that.

This is a story about a student who got right with God

You have a choice, God gives you free will

"But as for me and my house, let me never leave God's place"

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Cs get degrees!

1. Me after every class

2. If you really care about your grades

3. When you get a new homework assignment

4. When people ask what you're going to do after college

5. When you see people who don't study and get good grades

6. We're all broke here

7. FREE FOOD IS FREE FOOD!

8. When it seems like everyone in class is smart - EXCEPT THE PEOPLE IN YOUR GROUP PROJECT!!

Other than knowledge and all those important things

How to take stairs.

Caffeine is your friend.

How to study.

Finding free food.

How to take a nap anywhere.

How to appreciate sleep.

How to procrastinate productively.

Surprise: This is not on the syllabus

1. As a freshman, one does get to be called “freshman” by upperclassmen when they walk to parties in a mob of people.

2. Some of the best stories happen after 2 a.m.

3. Upperclassmen live for meal swipes from freshman because they are poor and need free food.

4. People are struggling just as much as you are so you're not alone.

5. You will never take privacy or personal space for granted ever again.

6. You are not the only one who has slept on the community bathroom floor after a night out.

7. Skipping class for Netflix is a valid excuse.

8. It’s totally acceptable to bring a pot of coffee, a sleeping bag and a pillow to the library.

9. Having class with a friend is the best because you can trade off days on who goes to class.

10. When you are a senior, you take the easiest classes to boost your GPA.

11. How to pull an all-nighter.

12. How to handle drunk people.

13. The drunk you does not look out for sober you about 90 percent of the time.

14. How to deal with a hangover.

15. How to interact with people very different from you.

16. The perfect amount to procrastinate on every assignment.

17. How to pass a class without paying for the textbook that was "required."

18. How to calculate your grades to see what you need on every test in order to maintain a passing grade.

19. How to hook-up with someone without getting emotions involved (but we all know that doesn’t happen).

20. How to handle your roommate when you want to strangle them.

21. That you miss your parent’s every day.

22. How to get into a bar when you aren’t 21.

23. How to BS on assignments, out loud and on your resume.

24. That theme parties are the greatest.

25. How to find free events that have free food.

26. That when there are puppies on campus it will be the greatest day of your life.

27. Alarms are necessary and you must set like seven of them in order to wake up in time for class.

28. Greek parties are exactly how they are in movies.

29. Care packages are treated like Christmas presents.

30. The friends you meet in college will become your bridesmaids and groomsmen.

31. That printers only break when you need them the most.

32. Cereal, ramen noodles, Easy Mac and microwavable pancakes can be used for breakfast, lunch and dinner.

33. That classes before 8 a.m. should be illegal.

34. Changing your major is OK.

Don't let the thesaurus-inspired vocabularies in our résumés fool you. We're actually just big kids.

"You should know exactly what career is right for your future by the time you're 18."

"Save all your money."

"Get plenty of sleep and adjust to a regular sleep schedule."

"Make sure to eat healthy, balanced meals. Don't forget those fruits and vegetables."

"Surround yourself with good, moral people."

"Don't do anything stupid."

Seriously, who wouldn't love pizza?

Pizza is like a BFF

It can be delivered right to your door!

You can eat it at any time of the day

It's there for you after a breakup

It's the best party food

Celebrities love it too

Everyone loves it!

Pizza doesn't care what you look like

It comes in all forms

It's the food that is always free at events

It's always available

Two Words: Frozen Pizza

You can customize it any way you want

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