About one year ago my spiritual life was rattled to the core.

After several long-buried personal issues bubbled to the surface of my life, I was forced to deal with the cognitive dissonance between some parts of my faith and the reality I was living in.

My religious beliefs were built on a foundation of rigid certainty, obedience, and sometimes ignorance and shame. Once I realized that some of the beliefs I grew up holding were toxic to myself and others, I needed out of the echo chamber.

I longed to hear new opinions and theological perspectives. I longed to rediscover the truth and once again encounter faith. Most importantly, I wanted to know I wasn't alone in my spiritual deconstruction.

As doubts about my faith and what I grew up hearing skirted my mind, there were many moments where I didn't know which way was up. I was frustrated, hurt, disillusioned, and confused. I cried a lot for the better part of a year while I wrestled with my beliefs. What was true about God, history, humanity, spirituality, and the nature of being under scrutiny.

How could I ever find ground again?

Maybe you're on a similar journey as I was (and in many ways, still am).

If that's the case, I encourage you to keep running the race. My season of "theological deconstruction", though painful, has proven to be the most significant spiritual event in my life, after becoming a Christian.

One way I was able to gain stability again was by encountering a variety of theological perspectives through books, conversations, and podcasts. I want to share the five most significant podcasts about Christianity, God, and theology that helped me rediscover my faith.

1. The Liturgists Podcast

The Liturgists Podcast

Hosts: Michael Gungor, Mike McHargue

What they talk about: In their own words, "The Liturgists are a global community working to subvert the barriers our society builds around religion, race, gender, ability, and sexuality. Our work is centered around compelling discussion, non-judgmental community, and thoughtful, evocative art."

Why this podcast is helpful: The Liturgists helped me understand that science, art, and religion complement each other. So often I felt that faith and spirituality were separate from these topics. The Liturgists Podcast focuses on real-life topics such as shame, social media, self-identity, and sex... topics that aren't typically discussed in church.

Suggested episode: "Body Image"

2. For The Love with Jen Hatmaker

For the Love with Jen Hatmaker

Host: Jen Hatmaker

What she talks about: A New York Times best-selling author and speaker, Jen invites guests on the podcast to discuss anything from parenting young children to racial reconciliation within the church, to books.

Why this podcast is helpful: ALERT! THIS PODCAST CONTAINS AN ENTIRE SERIES DEVOTED TO EXPLORING FAITH. It's amazing, and a breath of fresh air in a world that values certainty and unequivocal obedience to unwritten rules.

Suggested episode: "Loving, Leaving, & Finding the Church with Rachel Held Evans"

3. Weird Amphibians

Weird Amphibians

Hosts: Rick and Jess Umble

What they talk about: Rick and Jess are a married couple who challenge aspects of their Evangelical Christian upbringing and back it up with theology. They often bring guests on the show to talk about theological deconstruction, "purity culture", and other aspects of an evolving faith. Though the podcast has wrapped up, the discussions are relevant to anyone experiencing doubt and frustration with Christianity.

Why this podcast is helpful: "The Deconstruction Series" specifically addresses evangelicals and talks about theological deconstruction, and how we can rebuild our faith in a way that is based around the Scriptures and theology.

Suggested episode: "Ep015 - Purity Culture"

4. The Bad Christian Podcast

The Bad Christian Podcast

Hosts: Toby Morrell, Matt Carter, and Joey Svendsen

What they talk about: This podcast is specifically geared towards individuals who feel that they are misfits from the traditional evangelical or more strict church sects and upbringings. "The BC Podcast", as it's regularly referred to, is open about its frustration with hypocritical aspects of church culture while speaking from a position of commitment to the gospel of Christ.

Why this podcast is helpful: Toby, Matt, and Joey aren't afraid to say what is on their minds, and probably yours too. They are honest about where they disagree with traditional theology and aren't afraid to shed the layers of "church language" that direct (and sometimes hinder) our conversations about God. This helped give me a framework for how to challenge my preexisting ideas about God that obscure the truth.

Suggested episode: "#347 Author of 'The Shack,' Paul Young"

5. The Holy Post

The Holy Post

Hosts: Phil Vischer and Skye Jethani

What they talk about: VeggieTales creator Phil Vischer and Pastor/Author Skye Jethani discuss current events inside and outside of the Church. Formerly known as the Phil Vischer Podcast, discussions on The Holy Post include humor and cover a variety of topics relating to Christianity in the world today.

Why this podcast is helpful: Intellectual yet lighthearted, these discussions cover the good, the bad, and the ugly in regards to the American church. This is my personal favorite podcast, as the collective wisdom of Phil, Skye, and guests from across the religious and political spectrum help inform theology and give a framework for healthful discussion of religious topics.

Suggested episode: "Episode 317: Social Justice & the Gospel"

Perhaps you don't agree with everything these podcasters have to say. In fact, many of the hosts of these podcasts wouldn't agree with each other. But that's the point.

By listening to these five podcasts, I learned to explore my faith in the safety of my earbuds and engage in thoughtful discussion. I am thankful that God spoke to me through podcasts, reminding me that in spite of my uncertainty and disillusionment with religion, He was working all things together so that I might understand His character of love and grace.

So if you are going through deconstruction and feel scared, tired, and frustrated, that's okay. I promise, there's hope on the other side, and the journey is absolutely worth it.