The lights dim in the sanctuary. A guitar, two notches too loud, blares the intro to "God is Able." The music interlude lasts about five minutes before the first verse begins. The singers on stage enter in perfect harmony, and the lights beam different colors to strengthen the mood of the chorus. One of the soloists thrusts her hands into the air during the loudest crescendo and drops them when the second verse commences.

It's all a show. I think bitterly.

I groan and cast a glance at the stiff-board congregation. I begin to wonder why I dragged myself out of bed for this.

Why I struggle to enjoy church:

Often, I feel the church swings to one of two spectrums.

1. The fan church

By this, I don't mean a church who invests in decent ceiling fans. In fact, my church might want to cut back a little on the A/C. A fan church tries to gather an ample amount of "audience" members (or fans as author Kyle Idleman puts it in "Not a Fan") for a Sunday service. They will make Jesus and the Bible appear trendy. Instead of "Keeping Up with the Kardashians," we are now "Keeping Up with the Christians." Often, fan churches lack substance or sermons, which deal with difficult topics because controversy tends to lose followers.

2. The ban church

Unlike the fan church, the ban church has no difficulty speaking its mind. Unfortunately, its mind tends to drift in the holier-than-thou regions. This type of gathering puts a ban on any mistakes or lack of Sunday school attendance. If a congregation member slips up or stumbles, gossip will infiltrate through all social groups to which members belong.

What the Bible says about the church:

First and foremost, the Bible says the church contains people (Acts 19:32). If we adhere to the lesson of Romans 3:23, we understand everyone misses the mark of perfection. This includes sinners, saints, and Sunday school teachers.

Second, Bible refers to the church as one body and many parts. If one part decides to disappear from the whole, the body will suffer. For example, if I represent the pinky toe (a seemingly inconsequential piece), and I get annoyed with the left eye and depart from the body, every part will feel pain. The feet will walk with a limp. Because of the lack of balance, the body will move awkwardly and slow everyone down in the process.

How shall I respond?

The church resembles my family. I have certain members who speak their minds before they have a chance to breathe. I also have others who want to hide in the shadow of fame and "friends." My family accommodates eggshell-steppers, mistake-makers, hypocrites, secret-hiders, prodigal sons, Pharisees, and essences of imperfection.

They often make me want to rip my hair from the roots. I'm sure they feel mutually about me.

However, I could never leave them.

If my brother plummets into despair, how can I not help him? If my sister ventures down a wary path, how can I not walk alongside her?

Similarly, how can I leave my church, my spiritual family? The Holy Spirit, which connects us together, is thicker than blood. I may not always like my family. At times, I wish they would confront uncomfortable topics. At others, I wish they would choose empathy over judgment. But not matter how much I dislike certain Sunday services, I will continue to attend.

My family needs me, and I need them.