It’s been a week since I posted my last article, the only article I wrote about the election or will write about the election. I find myself frequently at loss for words when it comes to explaining how I feel, so I allow those more fluent in the language of emotions to elaborate for me- needless to say, that makes my Facebook page a little chaotic.
Since publishing that article, I had multiple people convey concern to me. And quite honestly, I was confused as to why they were concerned.
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Had I perhaps written something that had hurt somebody’s feelings? I didn’t feel as though anyone was targeted, I felt it was an outpouring of emotions, emotions that had been building up inside me and I finally acquiesced to the inevitable eruption.
Had I somehow implied that my current circumstances were less than desirable? That one is completely plausible, but only because I am an American with larger ideals that what we are currently living with.
Had I maybe been a less than favorable reflection on the God I strive to evince?
Ahh. There it is.
My closing thoughts on the article were “In the meantime, I’ll be praying and hoping that my God really is in control.”
And I guess that worried people. What in heaven's name is Sarah Snoddy doing questioning the overall power of the Living God?
Believe me - I asked myself that.
Ultimately it did not come down to a question of my faith. Jesus is my King and my best friend. He is my first source of comfort when the world feels out of control. This was not a question of His reign.
This was me questioning, struggling to reconcile, the notion of free will and a Sovereign God. A God that is in control no matter the circumstances. A God that, without so much a second thought, flooded the entire earth because humanity screwed up. (And honestly at this point I’m starting to understand His reasons)
As I said before, He is my first source of comfort, and as such, I spent much of the time following the election crying over my Bible as I searched for answers because I refused to let my friends see how scared I was (am) for them. In the book of Matthew, chapter 7, we find Jesus telling us “Keep asking, and it will be given to you. Keep searching, and you will find. Keep knocking, and the door will be opened to you.” I found comfort, and I found reassurance, and I found stories in the Old Testament of the Israelites telling God that they thought their plan was better than His (Applicable to now? I think so). My faith was not in question. But my questioning, no, my doubting, of God’s sovereignty led me another question.
Why is it so alarming when Christians question God?
Job did it, filled 42 chapters with each of the stages of reacting to injustice that I experienced. “No, God is good, He’s got this. Wait, hang on, God, what is actually going on right now? Are you seriously letting this happen? Okay cool I got it, you’re still good even if I super don’t know what is going on right now.”
David did it, just check out Psalm 10 for instance. “Yo God, where you at right now? People are dying, they’re being persecuted, and I don’t know what to do. It’d be super great if You did something to help right now, but You know what, You are still mighty and powerful. I respect Your decisions.”
Habakkuk did it, for 2/3 of the book. “God, I really love You, but we really need Your help right now. I don’t know why You stand aside as the world becomes more and more desolate. I will patiently wait for Your response. I know You’ll blow my mind.”
When you question with the intent to find answers, God is overjoyed. “For the Lord says to the house of Israel: Seek Me and live!”
This wasn't intended to be about my concerns over a Donald Trump presidency, or even politically related at all. This was just supposed to be about the honest-to-God doubts each Christian faces. I’m not entirely sure about what I intended to say throughout this spiel, but I think I’ve said it all- whatever "it all" is. I’ll leave off with 1 Corinthians 13:12. “For now we see indistinctly, as in a mirror, but then face to face. Now I know in part, but then I will know fully, as I am fully known.”
