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15 Chris D'elia One-Liners That Prove He Is The King Of Comedy In 2019

His comedy special's title was spot on, he is on fire.

McKenna Tunney

Apr 08, 2019

UCLA

20051

15 Chris D'elia One-Liners That Prove He Is The King Of Comedy In 2019

Netflix

I love Chris D'elia because he truly just keeps it real, and isn't always walking on eggshells when he is delivering comedy. He is still respectful of all audiences but shows everyone that they should also be able to laugh at themselves and not take life so seriously. His content can also relate to all sorts of audiences and demographics. And truly I think he is someone that will actually just say what everyone is thinking.

This man truly keeps it real about love, friendships, crocodiles, you name it.

He isn't incredibly sensitive if people don't like him, he'll just keep doing his thing. And this is something that a lot of people nowadays have trouble doing. Being individuals that are comfortable with being themselves, cracking a few jokes, but of course still, be respectful. It's really hard for people to just be themselves, and not care about what other people are thinking, and if they might slip up and maybe hurt someone's feelings. Now, of course, I'm not saying that we all have to go around being brutal to each other, but it is alright to laugh at ourselves every now and then, it will definitely boost confidence. The confidence boost will come from being secure in who you are, loving yourself so that you can take a little roast from your friends every now and then, and then dish it back to them. It's so much easier this way, there isn't passive aggressiveness cause you are always getting it all out in the open.

We could all use a little Chris D'leia in our lives. So if anyone wants to support my dream of seeing him live, I'd be happy to make a gofundme.

So without further adieu, here are some random quotes that have really impacted my life, and if you really want to bring these quotes justice, go watch his special on NETFLIX and Youtube.

You're welcome.

1. "My biggest pet peeve is when a girl says, "I'm not into drama." Why are you even mentioning it?! That's dramatic in itself!"

https://goo.gl/images/uNJSTj

2. "Uh escuze me, I have a quhestion fer yhu"

https://goo.gl/images/K9WjB2

3. "Nothing matters to a drunk girl at all. Nothing you'd be like, "yo there's a crocodile right next to you. 'Uh, excuse me, I have a question for you. Is it your crocodile?"

https://goo.gl/images/V8StQN

4. "The shoes on my feet, I bought em!"

https://goo.gl/images/wuVFwP

5. "Just 100% do that zero times. How about that? OK?"

https://goo.gl/images/Nd7zDy

6. "Bye. Do it by yourself. Don't care"

https://goo.gl/images/YwzKNS

7. "We're not special. We're just people. It's fucked up to think about right?"

https://goo.gl/images/oB4vjz

8. "It's not gonna work out, you know? I mean, it might, but it won't. You know what I mean? But it could, but it's not going to, right?"

https://goo.gl/images/ZuKXQb

9. "You know what life is like? We're all extras in someone else's movie"

https://goo.gl/images/inQu8J

10. "Love is 'I guess'. You find yourself you 'I guess person' and have an 'I guess family'. That's what you do "

https://goo.gl/images/R1V1Ct

11. "Love is up and down and up and down and up and down and more down and up a little bit, but then down down, down, not up, down."

https://goo.gl/images/DYAUjF

12. "If I could distill love down into one moment, this right here would be the moment of love right here. 'Fucking move. Move over. Look at the other side of the bed'"

https://goo.gl/images/B9XGBQ

13. "That's what love is. Walking around the airport with three bags and two eyes. And you told her to pack one bag, but somehow you're holding three!"

https://goo.gl/images/qBmXEp

14. "People that workout and won't shut the fuck up about it. I cannot stand that shit. You don't matter that much, okay?"

https://goo.gl/images/F9uZK7

15. "Like, you're not really doing much, okay? Who the fuck are you inspiring? All you do is move weight around and eat extra chicken, right?

https://goo.gl/images/Dx3pkv

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15 Chris D'elia One-Liners That Prove He Is The King Of Comedy In 2019

His comedy special's title was spot on, he is on fire.

In This Article:

1. "My biggest pet peeve is when a girl says, "I'm not into drama." Why are you even mentioning it?! That's dramatic in itself!"

2. "Uh escuze me, I have a quhestion fer yhu"

3. "Nothing matters to a drunk girl at all. Nothing you'd be like, "yo there's a crocodile right next to you. 'Uh, excuse me, I have a question for you. Is it your crocodile?"

4. "The shoes on my feet, I bought em!"

5. "Just 100% do that zero times. How about that? OK?"

6. "Bye. Do it by yourself. Don't care"

7. "We're not special. We're just people. It's fucked up to think about right?"

8. "It's not gonna work out, you know? I mean, it might, but it won't. You know what I mean? But it could, but it's not going to, right?"

9. "You know what life is like? We're all extras in someone else's movie"

10. "Love is 'I guess'. You find yourself you 'I guess person' and have an 'I guess family'. That's what you do "

11. "Love is up and down and up and down and up and down and more down and up a little bit, but then down down, down, not up, down."

12. "If I could distill love down into one moment, this right here would be the moment of love right here. 'Fucking move. Move over. Look at the other side of the bed'"

13. "That's what love is. Walking around the airport with three bags and two eyes. And you told her to pack one bag, but somehow you're holding three!"

14. "People that workout and won't shut the fuck up about it. I cannot stand that shit. You don't matter that much, okay?"

15. "Like, you're not really doing much, okay? Who the fuck are you inspiring? All you do is move weight around and eat extra chicken, right?

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10 things that most incoming college freshmen have no idea about.

Your Schedule

The Library

Time Management

Registration

Housing

The Dining Hall

Teachers

Clubs

High School Friends

Finals

It's not all morning coffees and singing along to the radio.

You can't just go to your room to take a nap in the middle of your classes.

Having to spend all your extra cash on gas for your car.

Speaking of money, you probably don't have a meal plan so you're forced to scrounge up some change or mooch off of your friends.

It can be harder to maintain the friendships you make with people from class.

Finding a parking spot.

It can be harder to be involved on campus because between your one, two, or three jobs and school you don't have much free time.

When you try to be super involved on campus, it can kill your sleep schedule.

It's impossible to do homework at home, but staying on campus isn't an option sometimes.

There are surveys and events that you can't participate in because you're a commuter.

Group projects are the bane of your existence.

Traffic.

Your backpack rivals that of a survivalist trekking in the woods.

Driving all the way to campus to find a note on the door of your classroom saying class was cancelled.

Because have you ever had to endure grilling your foot on a George Foreman?

1. When he just wanted bacon from his George Foreman grill

2. When he had money (and Jan) issues

3. When he got upstaged at Phyllis' wedding

4. When he unintentionally saved Meredith from rabies

5. When he wore a "bisexual" suit

6. When he had to apologize to Jesus

7. When his GPS drove him into a lake

8. When he had to deal with Ryan as his boss

9. When he couldn't fulfill his most generous empty promise

10. When this happened

11. When he struggled with a X-Mas break up

12. When he had to defend his generosity

13. When he threw a classy Christmas party for Holly but she had a boyfriend

14. When he had to stand up to peer pressure

15. When Toby was "Toby-ish"

This isn't just for the single Pringles out there either, folks

Run Around Clanging Pots and Pans in Everyone's Face

Eat the Last Few Pigs in a Blanket

Pop Twelve White Grapes

Burn Something

Smash Things Against a Wall

Spontaneously Begin an Irish Jig

Call Your Mother

Throw a Coffee Table Out a Window

Sing "Auld Lang Syne" at the Top of Your Lungs

Do Some Squats

Swan Dive into a Nearly Freezing Body of Water

Take a Shot

Time to be merry and bright.

"First Noel" by Leslie Odom, Jr

"A Holly Jolly Christmas" by Burl Ives

"Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas" by Kelly Clarkson

"All I Want for Christmas Is You" by Mariah Carey

"Christmas (Baby Please Come Home" by Michael Buble

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