To be happy or to not be happy? It seems as simple as flipping a switch in your head at any given time... But it's not, at least not for everyone.
There are many people who always told me that every day you wake up and you choose to be happy. I used to get so annoyed whenever somebody said that because it didn't seem that simple, and that is because it's not...
There are moments, events and even people in your life that you do not have control of, and without intention, your happiness relies on those things.
I became so tired of others' view of me, specifically if they didn't like me or the things I did, so tired of the drama in school and in social settings. I became so sad with the hatred and anger that flows through the world daily now. And with every little but big thing, I became an unhappy person.
I constantly would think of awful things, like would the world even shed a tear if I wasn't here?I stopped trying to please who treated me like dirt, and I forced myself to try and be different, and even look different, to fit in more.
Instead of just one person it seemed everyone around me broke my heart... And through all the pain and anger, I found my source of happiness in the one place I never looked... In myself.
It was the sunset that colored the sky, the smell of pasta cooking for dinner, opening my eyes to see how many people truly loved me instead of instead of focusing on the ones who didn't. The laughter of my family over something nobody else in the world would find funny. It was waking up and being able to move my body, breathe, and learn to not take for granted the health I have.
Don't get me wrong... This didn't take a day, in fact it took hundreds of days. Each day finding more things to be thankful for, instead of finding things not to be thankful for.
Yes there will always be things that challenge life and there will be sadness and anger, but never again will I let myself not live a life focusing on happiness.
I'm surrounded by family who loves me, food that makes me smile, the ability to listen and rock out to music, friends who think I'm way cooler than I probably am, a healthy healthy body that I use daily, and so so much more.
I found that no matter what life throws on the table, to live in the moment, learn from every single thing I do, give more than I take, and remember that life is love and love is life, and I'm behind the whee the whole time.
