I was raised in a very religious household. If you are like me, you know that when you are younger, you go to church because your parents make you. There were many times that we didn't really understand the message, so we relied on our parents to translate it for us. When I was old enough to have the birds and the bees talk, I was told that I should wait to have sex until I was married. Being that young, it didn't really matter because it wasn't like I really understood what sex even was.
This decision started affecting me more, especially as I got into high school.
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All of my friends started getting boyfriends and having sex. Let me just say that I in no way judging them or their decision. If they felt like their decision was right, I was happy for them because who am I to judge someone else's decisions. Being in the minority of girls not having sex, it started getting harder and harder for people to understand why I didn't have a boyfriend or why I didn't want to date certain people. It was my choice because I knew some of these guys and what they expected out of a relationship. My decision was in no way because they weren't attractive or that I didn't like them. I actually knew that they would have treated me the right way, but I didn't want to be in a relationship where I felt like I wasn't giving them enough. I also didn't want to be put into a position where I felt pressured to do something I would regret.
Nowadays, sex is a normal part of a relationship like it is something that is expected and in my experience, it is a deal breaker.
Sex can mean different things to different people. To me, it is something more than just physical…to me, it is also spiritual. I believe sex is something that is sacred and should be shared with someone special. Some days I feel like my decision to wait is holding me back. I know that the older I get, it might be harder to find a man who respects my decision. The easy path would be to make my love life simpler by just getting it over with. To be honest, there were plenty of times when I questioned if it really was that big of a deal if it was worth it to keep waiting because it seemed to be doing more damage than good. When I really thought about it, I realized that my decision to wait was actually showing me what people's intentions were.
If my decision was a deal breaker to them, then I knew they obviously weren't someone I would want to be with anyway.
So instead of being mad or upset when my virginity got in the way of a relationship, I learned to appreciate it and embrace it. I know that God has a plan and with every boy that comes and goes in my life, I am just that much closer to finding the person that I am supposed to be with so honestly, I can wait.
