I know. I know what it's like to be there. I know what it's like to feel like your eyes are permanently swollen and puffed up because you have cried every day that week. I know what it's like to truly feel as though you are just another block of matter and that no one seems to know your name or want to be your friend. I know what it's like to have people around you tell you that "it's just a bad day, get over it, everyone has them". I know what it's like to have a swarm of negative thoughts consume your mind so greatly that you can hear them. I get it what it is like to feel worthless and want to give up. I get it, and it sucks immensely. I am writing this from a perspective of someone who decided at one point that their life was not important. I am writing this from the perspective of someone who has seen the reaction of the people they love after they had tried to end their life. That someone, as you may have guessed, is me.
I decided to write this article while I was filling out some spaces on my calendar the other day. I came across the day that read "Freshman Year is Ova!!!!" and then shortly after across the colorfully decorated August 10th square that read "19th Birthday!!!". To someone else out there, it could mean something different. However, to me it nearly brought tears to my eyes. I have made it so so far. To be completely honest, five years ago I thought I would never even make it to my Senior Year of High School. But here I am, almost two months past my college freshman move out and my last teenage birthday. It may seem like a small, and otherwise natural accomplishment but to some people who are living the way I have in the past, every moment of their life is another tiring struggle. As I looked back on the past 5 years, which sounds like such a small span of time, I have discovered and learned so much. I have tried hundreds of new things, seen new places and realized that I would have missed so much if I was actually gone. The point of my article this week is to spread the word that it does get better eventually, and that life is truly beautiful.
I'm at a point and time in my life where I have learned to appreciate life's simple joys and opportunities and to also put myself first. I believe that you cannot enjoy life and cannot be truly loved and appreciated by others until you learn to love yourself. It is so easy to beat ourselves up over the small slip-ups we have
