Mr. Right, Mrs. Right, my forever and your only one. We all hope to find our missing piece, the one that completes us. But sometimes, God has a different plan.
I have always dreamed of meeting someone who just gets me. The person who loves me for me with no string attached. The one I can feel secure with and know that I am the only one that hold their heart. So when I met someone who embodied all of these, you would think I would be thrilled. That I would take hold and never want to let go, which I did for a while. I though to myself that this boy was my future. That because he was just like that one I had dreamed of all these years I was sitting and staring my future in the eyes. But through all this my heart was unsettled and my emotions were a whirl. I continuously made excuses as to why I was questioning this relationship and why my heart was torn. This boy..this boy was perfect. He was gentle but tough and driven, an introvert but knew how to be open with me. He loved me and simply was not afraid to show it. And although my heart cared for him, sometimes that just simply is not enough.
I was forcing myself to settle into a comfortable relationship because I felt it was what God wanted. I took different situations and outside aspects of life as signs that this was my final first kiss and first date and that after this all my firsts would be done. I soon realized that I could not go on pretending that I was devoted to a person and a relationship that I knew deep down was not right for me. I had to choose me. To choose that even though I knew I would be breaking the heart of someone I truly cared about, to trust in God's faithfulness. He had been slowly showing me signs that I was not being true to my heart. God intends for us to pursue people who embody a Christ like persona and live to be a light that shines his love for all to see. To seek out a relationship that seeks Christ together and whose love is dedicated to first God, and then ones significant other. I was substituting my happiness for a life that I thought I was supposed to live.
Now I am nothing short of thankful for this boy and the love and joy he brought to me. He showed that I am worthy of a love that is greater than that that I imagine for myself. He proved that my flaws are what make me unique and that I should not settle for anyone who does not love every ounce of me despite the things they may not like. I am loved and I am worthy of love. But sometimes I have to choose me. Because Mr. Right may not always be Mr. Right for me.