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If You're Struggling To Find Your Identity, It Might Help To Reclaim Your Nickname

At least part of our unique identities falls within the realm of our names, so why does everyone feel a need to change mine?

Stephanie Nemeth

May 12, 2019

Rutgers University

241

If You're Struggling To Find Your Identity, It Might Help To Reclaim Your Nickname

Stephanie Nemeth

"Stephanie." The name that is written on all of my legal documents and formal papers is the name that is used the least amount of time to describe me. It takes anyone... friends, teachers, family members, people that meet me only once who I myself forget the names of, to start calling me "Steph," changing that oh-so-long nine letter name of mine into a simplistic, short-end-of-the-stick five-word version.

Growing up, this "Steph" imposter started to have me really hate my name. Whenever I heard "Stephanie" come out of the mouths of my new teachers, during that grueling getting-to-know-you roll-call at the beginning of the year, I quite literally cringed. I felt like my parents had cursed me with such a long, tiresome name that everyone felt the need to shorten, and I let that affect how I saw myself.

"Stephanie" is me, so why did everyone feel the need to shorten me and my identity, and why did I have no say in the nickname process?

Make that nickname of yours your identity

Coming to college was my first time truly being exposed to the roots of my name. My mom, an avid Stevie Nicks fan, had named me after her, passing down her love and roots to her next love: me. When introducing myself to all of the new people I encountered throughout my first year of college, telling them why my name was indeed Stephanie, they started asking me why I never went by Stevie. I had never had a choice in my nickname, it was always decided for me by the laziness in teachers and individuals of not wanting to sound out "Stephanie." I started experimenting with the name Stevie, and it has not only helped me to get in touch with why my name is Stephanie, but it has also brought me closer to my mom.

Finding yourself is a process, but getting in touch with why my mom gave me the honor of being called Stephanie in the first place has allowed me to appreciate my background and myself more, because, for the first time, I am in touch with my true identity, not just sounding it out. I feel the connection with my and my name, I am not just going through the semantics.

Call me what you want: Steph, Stevie, Veronica. But I will always be Stephanie, and for the first time in my life, nothing makes me happier.

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If You're Struggling To Find Your Identity, It Might Help To Reclaim Your Nickname

At least part of our unique identities falls within the realm of our names, so why does everyone feel a need to change mine?

In This Article:

Make that nickname of yours your identity

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The struggles of having an RBF are all too real

1. People asking if you're mad at them.

2. Those people who hand out flyers don't always try to stop you.

3. Creepy guys telling you to smile.

4. "I thought you were a bitch when I first met you."

5. People telling you you'd be "so much prettier if you smiled."

6. Doing your makeup and looking great, which somehow intensifies the bitch face.

7. Regularly explaining "it's just my face."

We all go through certain stages when we have a crush, Tina just explains it better.

That moment that someone you never looked twice at suddenly makes you do a double take out of no where.

But you can't have a crush, that's outrageous. It's all in your head.

Because you don't have a crush, there's no reason to tell anyone about anything. Right?

But then they do something irresistible and you start to lose it.

Now accepting the fact you have a crush, you have to keep it under control.

Then there's the part where you tell your friends who will claim they called it.

They'll be excited and cheer you on. That's until they realize that your crush is all you'll be talking about.

Your obsession has become so bad, that your Facebook stalking is getting out of control.

But your friends will try and help move things along any way they can. That doesn't mean it will be any helpful though.

As time goes on, you start having fantasies about the two of you and it's starting to scare you a little.

You can't focus on anything because all your attention is on them and everything they do.

Anybody who comes near your crush is now an enemy, and you are willing to fight for your crush.

When you see them, you act like an idiot. Trying to hide your feelings may not be as discrete as you think.

Keeping your feelings inside will start to be harder and harder until you can't keep it inside anymore.

Who knows, maybe it will work out? Take a chance.

Everybody hurts sometimes.

May the odds be ever in your favor.

What about those of us who don't do it all in four years?

1. You feel like an elder.

2. You may feel lonely.

3. Senioritis is more real than ever.

4. You may feel a little down sometimes.

5. Fear of missing out won't be as real.

6. You are a college pro.

7. You'll have more free time.

8. You're happy you're still in school.

9. You feel like a guru.

10. You continue to grow.

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