For many years I was the person who preached the "I can't just chose to be happy" motto. However, I was highly mistaken. I have dealt with depression and anxiety since I was about eleven or twelve. I spent a long time just wallowing in the fact that I just would never be happy. I held an infinite pity party for myself thinking about how I would spend the rest of my life with this illness. And if you look around most people with depression and anxiety do this. They say that they will never get better, that they will forever be stuck in this black hole. These people feel helpless and they don't understand how to become happy, so they sit in bed and wallow. They think they will never get rid of their depression. They're right to an extent. Yes, you will live with this mental illness for your entire life. However, just because you have this illness, doesn't mean you can't overcome it.
No, you did not chose to have depression. No one ever chooses to have depression, no one wants it. You CAN chose to be happy. It takes a lot of conscious, hard work every day to push yourself to be happy, but it is possible. I spent four years working on myself. Four years of psychoanalyzing myself in bed at night. Four years of figuring out what my dreams and goals are. Four years understanding the soul that depression kept hostage. Four years of learning about who I am and what I want in my life. Understanding the complexities of my mind and learning exactly what makes me tick. My happiness was not something that came to me overnight. It didn't come to me because I summoned it, but because I worked for it. I worked, and still work, hard every day to achieve the confidence and happiness I want for myself. But to get here I had to end the pity party. I had to chose to be happy.
You can chose to sit around and wallow in self pity for the rest of your life, or you can chose to beat this illness and not let it overcome you. It is a hard and long road. There will be days and weeks where you feel like the depression is winning, and that's okay. Everyone feels that sometimes, but you have to choose, once again, that you won't let it win. There will be days and weeks where you feel on top of the world, and those are the days that push you through your hard times. Once you see the other side of the fight, your bad days slowly start to seem like a bump in the road. But you have to choose this. You have to choose to work every day for your greatest happiness. You have to choose to stop wallowing in self pity. You have to make a conscious effort every day to stop the depression in its tracks. And there is no secret to overcoming your depression. There are no clear steps. My best advice is to turn on your favorite music, the songs that motivate you. Find what you're passionate about and set goals. Spend time with the friends that love you unconditionally, even though you may not have seen them in years. Push yourself outside of your comfort zone. Catch the bad thoughts before they get too deep and replace them with happy ones. Read positive quotes every day. Meditate. Find everything that makes you feel good and go after it. And once you decide to be happy, once you put in the work, you will feel amazing.
