Entered the room like a whirlwind. I welcomed it with open arms. Let it engulf me, take me in. Let it tear me apart. I looked into its eyes and saw a mess of scattered emotions. Confusion. Desperation. Perhaps, Love….no. Loneliness.
I, determined yet so naive, thought “I’ll be the one to calm this turbulent storm.” Come, come stay a little awhile, maybe you’ll want to stay forever. I let it touch my skin, rattle my nerves, awaken the butterflies that had long been forgotten. Hair fell loose, and so did the noose that strangled my voice every day, every night. My vision went hazy, my senses danced in a beautiful chaos, danced their way right out the window. Boy, I felt clearer than ever. It moved into me, softly and slowly. Roughly, sometimes…violently. As time went by, it swirled me into a euphoric high. But it felt like something was missing...sort of incomplete…"Silly girl, don’t you worry, that's just how its supposed to be.” I lost myself into the depths of it, fell through
layer
after layer
after layer
after layer.
Where lay its heart? The answer to all my uncertainties? The missing piece that finally solved the puzzle. Downward spiral into a bottomless pit. I couldn't breathe. But..I didn't want to. I let it hold me tight, immersed myself in it. Toss me around, high then low then high then low. A roller coaster ride that made me dizzy, yet somehow kept me wanting more. And more. And more. 'Til I said, STOP. My gentle voice echoed through its savage waters, the water that rushed around me, froze and settled down its tumultuous waves. Air filled my gasping lungs again and for once I felt more powerful than the madness I had braved. I looked around; everything was exactly how it used to be. No sign of the havoc my guest had wreaked. I looked within and saw the destruction, the damage, the devastation. A scar here, a scar there, a scar everywhere.
Dear love, what a mess you've made. I tried. I promise I gave it my all. But its time to go now, a storm can’t last forever after all.
Shaken to my bones, I succumbed to the dark. My lost eyes saw no dreams, no nightmares, just a vacuum of darkness. After what seemed like an eternity, the smiling sun saw my face. Eyes still shut, saw the beautiful glow. Serene, indeed. Slowly awoke from my slumber, unwound myself from the satiny sheets hiding me from the world. Hair felt soft and shone a light brown, skin kissed by the whispering light. I know now, you can’t fix what's broken to begin with. It matters not what takes your breath away, but what reminds you to breathe. So when the storm comes pounding on your door, don’t give in. The misty air, the cool breeze, it's all an illusion. Shut your windows, stay close. Storms come and go, but the sun will choose you every day.
