Choose Your Own Adventure: Homeless Edition | The Odyssey Online
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Politics and Activism

Choose Your Own Adventure: Homeless Edition

Kira uses satire to discuss the issue with homeless in the U.S.

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Choose Your Own Adventure: Homeless Edition

Homeless people: the acne in America’s clean porcelain face. What have the homeless contributed to society? Nothing but taking the money out of American’s already-rich pocket, and used it for what...jobs, education, clothes. Nothing to do with finding a home, and that's because they already have one. Of course, it’s not in America, but on another planet. For years, we as people have passed by the homeless, and wondered why we continue to see the same ones. Haven’t our fifty cents every other twelve months given them enough to spend on something? We need to not focus our time on giving them money, not that that shouldn’t be too hard for many of us, but focus it on finding ways to send them home, or at least out of U.S.

First, we must gather up all the homeless people together. All the Veterans, who have proudly served the country, yet cannot find a home. All the single mothers, who feed their kids, before themselves, and especially all the senior citizens whose family had abandoned them, and often rely on a meager Social Security check to get them from one homeless shelter to another. These people are the worse, and need to be gathered at once. Soon put them on a boat, doesn’t matter how big most of them are dying anyway, and send them to the nearest island possible. We must make sure though that we make sure media, and any access to books, education, as well as anything that could backfire on the U.S. We do not want them to create a society better than ours, and able to kill us just as quickly. That would be embarrassing for America to go down as the country that was killed by the smelly, poor aliens.

This solution would help the parks become more aesthetically pleasing, as well as draw tourist to our beautiful, and now homeless free attractions. No more would we have to see the stupid signs that say ‘Need food ‘or ‘Need Money to make sure my family eats’. Why would we as Americans, who already can’t fix their own problems, try to fix the ones of the actual people who live there. In conclusion, instead of helping the homeless we could just send them away, and help our children see a bright future one where homeless people are just a sad, sick problem that America never fixed.

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