Choices, choices, choices, they’re literally everywhere, all the time. You just made a choice to click the link to read this article (thank you!), you probably made a choice to be scrolling through Facebook before that, chose what to wear today, chose what to eat for breakfast (maybe you chose to skip breakfast), etc. But, when you began your day did you choose how to feel?
In wake of the election results and the strong reactions to them, my dad gave me the idea to write about choices, then in the type of coincidence that only the universe can arrange – my yoga teacher spoke about choices in class this morning.
If you’ve read any of my articles, you know that typically I talk about choices in regards to your nutrition, but today we’re going to go off script a little bit. I could never stress the importance of nutrition enough, but what a lot of people don’t consider is that if the other elements in your life are off balance, no amount of kale is going to keep you feeling healthy. One element that is particularly important is your emotional well-being (and if we’re being honest here, you and I both know your nutritional well-being goes to shit when your emotional well-being is struggling, anyway).
It’s estimated that adults make about 35,000 decisions a day, you know about the obvious ones (like the ones mentioned earlier), but do you ever think about choosing to be happy? Choosing to be mad? Or do you live life thinking that you don’t control your feelings?
“May your choices reflect your hopes, not your fears.” - Nelson Mandela
Of course, most emotions just happen naturally in reaction to certain things, and it’s perfectly normal for you to let those emotions flow, and to respect those feelings when they come up. But there comes a point where that emotion has overstayed its welcome, and it’s time to make a choice about how you feel.
“From the backstabbing co-worker to the meddling sister-in-law, you are in charge of how you react to the people and events in your life. You can either give negativity power over your life or you can choose happiness instead. Take control and choose to focus on what is important in your life.”
-Anaïs Nin
Let’s say, you weren’t happy with the results of last week’s elections, or maybe the person you thought was the love of your life just broke up with you, or you crashed your car, or you just took a look at your student loan balance… Sure, all of these things suck, but should you allow them to consume your mind? It’s important to allow yourself the necessary emotional release that might occur when you face any number of the things in life that just don’t feel great, but it’s equally important to recognize the difference between that natural emotional release and when you’re allowing the negative feelings to stick around and ruin your days. In yoga this morning, my teacher said “the trains are going to keep coming to the station, but you have to make the choice about when to get on” (or something like that, I don’t usually carry a pen and paper in my yoga pants), and I just love this metaphor. Life is going to keep happening, don’t let that one thing keep you from enjoying it. Think about why you’re feeling the way you’re feeling, is there something you can do to make yourself feel better? Is there something you can change? Something positive you can work toward? Someone you can talk things through with? Go ahead, feel those feelings, let them out, scream if you need to, but don’t let them eat up any more of your precious time than is necessary.
"Worrying is like a rocking chair: it gives you something to do, but it doesn't get you anywhere." -Van Wilder
Don't let your expectations about how something might go in the future dictate your feelings about the present, you can only know what is now, worrying about how something might turn out later isn't going to help you.
Nothing is the actual end of the world, and even when it feels like it is, remember you’re still alive, you’re still here. You have the power to choose how you feel, and to choose the way that you allow your feelings to manifest. Channel your emotions towards something positive, make a change, stand for something, be supportive of you. There are sad, frustrating, scary, shitty, and messy things in this life, there are things that are out of your control, but you can control you. Choose how you want to feel, choose how you react, and allow yourself to get back to the good.
“Happiness is a choice, not a result. Nothing will make you happy until you choose to be happy. No person will make you happy unless you decide to be happy. Your happiness will not come to you. It can only come from you." Ralph Marston