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Choco Chunky Chips Ahoy vs Keebler’s Coconut Dreams?

Jan 05, 2016

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For those of you with a keen right eye for detail, you might have noticed that the grass is suspiciously greener, the sky is bluer, and the birds are chirpier. I’m here to take credit for what you might have observed. You see, I recently found the answer to whether or not Choco Chunky Chips Ahoys taste better than Keebler’s Coconut Dreams. Why concern yourself over these two cookies? Because the Oreo is too showy, the Vanilla Wafer is too archaic, and the Fig Newton is too gross. I’m proud to say that my analysis involves no bias or favoritism; both cookies are treated with the same amount of dignity and respect they deserve.

The Quest

Why? Why carry this responsibility? Often, in my youth, I made reckless and wild decisions. I admit, at times, my moral compass sometimes faltered. No longer. 2016 is the year where we should all strive to make responsible decisions. We shouldn’t settle for less than what we deserved. The treat we decide to devour at 2:00 a.m. should be the top shelf cookie, not a bottom-shelf cookie. Ladies and Gentlemen, I'm no hero. I’m just an arguably good looking guy trying to help humanity the best way I know how.

Choco Chunky Chips Ahoy

A true heavy hitter in the cookie community. This rich and tasty cookie is a chocolate lover’s dream. You’ll want to savor each bite as this cookie crumbles and melts in your mouth. In addition, this cookie is a team player, it gets along with everything and everyone. A refreshing glass of milk accentuates and heightens the chocolate bliss this cookie is sure to give you. Give it a try, and try not to die…from happiness!

Coconut Dreams

So, elephant in the room-Coconut Dreams are a blatant copy of Samoas, the famous and beloved Girl Scout Cookie. It’s an imposter of a well-known American favorite. Coconut Dreams, let me tell you one thing. I’ve eaten Samoas, I knew Samoas, Samoas was a friend of mine. Coconut Dreams, you’re no Samoas.

Coconut Dreams, I don’t care that you’re delicious. I don’t care that you and Samoas are from the same parent company, Kellogg. I don’t care, because you tricked me into eating you by riding the coattails of another well-known cookie. Your existence highlights the ugly villainy of capitalism. Your existence threatens the livelihood of friendly girl scouts. Coconut Dreams, you’re the supervillain of cookies.

Conclusion

Based off my findings, Choco Chunky Chips Ahoy reign supreme. They are the one true cookie. Perfect for any occasion-movie nights, dates, weddings, baptisms, funerals, you name it. Don't let me catch you eating a Coconut Dream; let's start 2016 at a good place!

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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Or at least try to do.

1. I will wake up (sorta) on time for class.

2. I will look decent for class.

3. I will go to the gym more.

4. I will go to the library and study more.

5. I will meet new people.

For those long nights that turn into mornings when the struggle is real.

1. Walk in motivated and ready to rock

2. Disappointed you let it get this bad

3. Distracted: When a 10-Minute Break Becomes an Hour

4. When the Yearning for Sleep Sneaks Up

5. In the words of Lorelai Gilmore "Coffee, Coffee, Coffee"

Oh, so done.

You need sleep, but also have 13 things due in the span of 4 days.

1. When it's December 1 and you have seven things due, three exams, and haven't slept in three days.

2. So you stress.

3. And cry.

4. Then call your mom to cry some more.

5. After the pep talk, you feel determined to get everything done.

6. But, now you're tired.

7. And really hungry.

8. Suddenly, it's 2 a.m. and you have only written three sentences and your paper is due in the morning.

9. You've made it to Friday... somehow.

10. Then Sunday hits and you find yourself back at the Lib.

11. So you cry some more.

12. But, you fight through the tears to get everything done because you're determined.

13. In the end, you feel on top of the world because you made it through the last week of class alive.

14. But, now it's finals week so good luck.

The ultimate list and gif guide to a college student's brain during finals.

What does the world outside the library look like?

Can I read this entire book tonight?

I should have gone to class more often.

Did the professor even teach this?

What is the lowest grade I can get on this exam and still pass the class?

Should I just drop out of school now?

Finals are ruining Christmas.

Just wrote three sentences so time for a break.

Need. More. Coffee.

What is sleep?

I'm too stupid for college.

Brain hurts.

Time for a Facebook Break.

I think I'm dying.

When will I ever need this information in the real world?

I can't read any of my notes.

I need my mom.

When was the last time I showered?

I need study snacks.

The struggle is so real right now.

"I want to thank Google, Wikipedia, and whoever else invented copy and paste. Thank you."

1. I'm so tired. I need a nap. Maybe I can sleep with my eyes open in class? Or pretend I'm not napping?

2. We have a test today? Why didn't anyone tell me? Did I know this?!

3. Can I quit school yet? It's only October, and I need a vacation.

4. The struggle is so real.

5. I'm so broke. SOS.

6. Stressed? Eat everything you own in your pantry and stuff your face with all your feelings.

7. "Did we have anything due in class today? Homework? Quiz? Test?" "Not that I know of..."

8. I need food. Where is the closest place to get food? I need it stat.

9. This is the longest day of my life. I need a drink, or two, or three.

10. Sleep? What is sleep? What a foreign concept.

11. When someone suggests going and studying in the library, let alone studying in general.

12. When the cafeteria or student center is packed and you can't find a seat anywhere so you literally have to sit in an abandoned corner.

13. When you see someone you used to hook up with. They see you, and approach you; so you have to pretend like everything is normal.

14. When you get your exam and realize you didn't study as much as you should have.

15. When you crush it on an exam or paper that you totally bullshitted.

16. I need a grande, extra strong coffee to get me through today.

17. When the professor announces you have a project due the following week with no instruction on what it's on and how to do it.

18. Is it Friday yet? Where's the weekend when you need it most?

19. It's freezing in here. I feel like I'm sitting in an igloo. I should have brought a jacket or worn long pants.

20. Did I remember my book? Damn, I forgot the book, and of course I need it for that quiz in class.

21. I would pay a million dollars to not go to class today; or actually never again.

22. I need a hoverboard to ride to class. Maybe then I wouldn't be running 15 minutes late to class every day.

23. Oh she/he's cute! I wonder if they're single. Who are they texting? They're BF/GF? I wonder if they think I'm cute. Could they be a potential new bae?

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