For the women who are starting to believe there isn’t a “good guy” left to discover, the men who are waiting to be noticed, anyone ready to give up on love, and those of you who have found it, this is for all of you. We've all heard "Chivalry is dead," as a way of crushing our dreams at a noble man to love, but I'm going to tell you the truth in hopes to rekindle that faith.
Ladies, I’m going to tell you now from one woman to another, chivalry is not dead, so don’t let your hope die out either. Maybe you’re crossing paths with the wrong people or holding onto someone who—how do I say this as nice as possible—is a D-bag. Let go and remember that you can’t define all based on a few. Live your life freely, think nothing less of yourself because of the guy who didn’t call you back. Wait for the one who won’t let the door shut in your face, unless of course, he’s being an occasional jokester. Consider yourself lucky to find someone eager to see you smile. Lighten up, catch the door and give him a taste of his own medicine. Laugh a little, preferably a lot. The one who will make sure you’re home safe at night and never let your eyes rest with tears is worth the wait. He’s out there, I promise. Release anyone holding you back and get a stronger grip on your faith. You can’t find Mr. Right when you’re still tangled in the web of Mr. Wrong.
I’m also going to be honest with you when I say that true love isn’t a fairytale, it’s reality at its finest. I’m not crushing your dreams of fairytale moments, trust me, there are plenty of beautiful moments to take your breath away and look forward to. But on a real note, don’t expect every car door to be opened for you—unless you’re the Queen of England—not every guy is going to buy you everything he notices you like, and definitely not everything will be agreed upon between the two of you. We’re looking for soul-mates, not clones. So when you find yourself in a relationship, don’t expect perfection. Please stop thinking that a man should bow down and agree with everything you say or simply enjoy all of the music you listen to. The important details are beyond that. What matters is that he is treating you the way you deserve and that you find a balance and love each other enough to work past any issues. Don’t give up on someone because of silly minor flaws, that’s what makes us unique as individuals. Let yourself learn to love others’ flaws the way you’ve learned to love your own. Be eager to grow with them rather than starting over and over with endless disappointment.
Stop searching so hard to find the never-happening answer in one direction and just keep walking with your eyes open. You might just finally catch a glimpse of the previously unnoticed man who looks forward to holding the door for you every day, or the man who tells you you’re beautiful on the days that you feel anything but. Now don’t get me wrong when I mentioned reality, you all still deserve the world, just stop comparing it to the movies and letting yourself down. I found my prince charming, and believe me when I say that there are days that I want him to get on his imaginary horse and let me be a dramatic princess for a few minutes. But he is the one who showed me that chivalry is in fact as alive as it ever was. He accepts me, adores me and sees beauty on my darkest days. I finally discovered what it was like to be taken to dinner and only wait on him to pick me up, rather than the days of waiting for a text from someone who probably just had dinner with another girl. I was finally being treated the way I never knew I deserved. I just had to stop thinking too much and let someone see me in all of my forms, and the one who stayed around is the one I love to this day.
To those riding a high horse because you want to seem untouchable to protect yourself from getting hurt, climb down and let a man sweep you off your feet. It’s a magnificent feeling. Your white stallion and the man worthy of making you his queen—although not of England, still just as wonderful—will appear in a way of its own and when the time is right. We hear it a lot, but timing is a funny, essential detail in life. Now, this isn't a Cinderella spinoff, so don’t run home upset at midnight because someone didn’t act upon your discreet wishes. Save a shoe and stick around. Enjoy the night solely for yourself and remember, keep your eyes open to all corners, not strained in one direction. Maybe he didn’t take notice, but someone else is probably wishing you would give them the attention you’re giving to him. Chivalry will slither through in ways you weren’t expecting. Not all guys are terrible like the few who made you want to close the door on hope. The realest, most impressive way to be spoiled is through love. Not pick up lines, not materialistic items, but through the gestures that make love the precious desire that it is. It may be the most unexpected experience you ever encounter, but that’s the beauty of it, and it will find its way into your world. You just have to keep your door open.
And for the men trying to be recognized through the many simple acts of kindness, please don’t slam the door on being a gentleman either. One day a woman will either be the happiest she’s ever been or realize she missed out on something amazing, all because of you.
Chivalry never died, it's been hiding behind your doubt.
