"I won't be able to see daddy as much anymore." This might be one of the first thoughts that pop into your head when your parents divorced. "I love both of my parents equally so why can't I see daddy and mommy just as often?" "Does daddy not love me anymore?" The family divorce system has a tendency to award custody to mothers more often than fathers. Children of divorce, have no idea half the time why they are told they must live with their mother. They are simply told: "because this will be a better home for you." But why? Why is this arrangement better for them? As a result, the children grow up questioning why their dads are no longer present in their lives. They might even grow to resent one of the parents. Maybe the court thought the child was too young to voice why they wanted to live with their dad instead of their mom. Therefore, the family court system resorts to providing children with opaque reasoning, causing the child to become distant from the other parent. The court's decision makes parents wonder if the ruling is fair to them based on their gender. As a result, we must question if U.S. courts have a gender bias with regards to custody arrangements.
Mothers tend to have more custody to children over fathers.
According to the Huffington Post, Professor Robert Hughes, Jr. (2011) argues that "mothers receive primary custody 68-88% of the time, fathers receive primary custody 8-14%, and equal residential custody is awarded in only 2-6% of the cases." But can't we argue that courts favor of mothers instead of fathers? In a stereotypical social, mothers are the nurtures, who stay at home, cook, clean and raise the kids. In fact, it is simply assumed that mothers' are around the children a larger percentage of the time than fathers. In this normative society, fathers are the main source of income for the household. Fathers work an 8-5PM day and sometimes the child is lucky if they get to spend any time with their father after a long day. Ergo, in a custody arrangement, fathers barely exist most of the time in the child's life.
The percentage of stay at home fathers has increased.
But according to Pew Research Center, in the United States the number of stay at home fathers have jumped a whole 0.9 million since 1989, which now makes the population of stay at home fathers 2.0 million. Given that these statistics from Pew Research Center in 2012 and the number of stay at home fathers may have increased, this stereotypical society of stay at home mothers is rapidly changing. Therefore, if fathers are spending more time around their children than they have previously, why do are custody arrangements still highly favor mothers as opposed to fathers?
Why isn't the percentage of custody arrangements more in favor of both parents higher?
Does our family court system automatically assume the normality and award custody towards mothers because of the assumption that mothers spend more time around the children than fathers?
Every custody arrangement is different.
Given that every family differentiates in terms of why custody arrangements are so in favor of mothers instead of fathers, it is still vital to question these statistics. It is understandable, in some cases, why a court may award custody to the mother instead of the father in varying circumstances. Maybe the father was a drug addict, so the court felt that the child would be in a safer home if they were to live with the mother more often than the father. Maybe the mother was mentally ill and her health was not up to par to care for a child. Therefore, we must consider these varying circumstances.
Why is there a bias in favor of mothers?
But still, it is questionable if the court system still has a bias in favor of mothers. For young children, they sometimes don't even get a say in court on what parent they want to live with. Rosen Law Firm confirms that sometimes a third party, such as a mediator or a social worker, may step in to decide the best fit of the child. Yet, the mediator may still not be able to make a perfect evaluation on what will be the best fit for the child.
The family divorce system might need to go through a reform.
Therefore, the U.S. family divorce court system might be in need of a reform in terms of promoting a child's say. Despite the age of the child, perhaps more family therapy needs to be reinstated in the divorce system to better ensure the safety of children. Perhaps a mediator or a social worker can sit in during therapy sessions so a better fit for the child can be found.
The court system doesn't need to be in favor of mothers, nor does it have to be in favor of fathers. But if the U.S. court system can work towards creating equal custody so that the child can be in an environment of both parents, we might be able to fix the current custody arrangements.
