To my childhood best friend,

I've known you since elementary school, at least I knew you. I'm not sure I know very much about you anymore outside of what you post on social media. That is one of the wonderful things about the internet, we can always see how old friends are doing. Well, we can see what you want us to see...I remember there was a time when I knew your deepest secrets. I still haven't told anyone.

We were always a fun pair. We were very different, and yet so much alike. We were goofy together, we could honestly laugh for hours about nothing. I think that pure joy was something that kept our friendship together for so long; you don't find that everyday. That's not to say our juvenile friendship did not have it's rough patches. Can you imagine, we were in fifth grade talking about how tired of the "drama" we were. Compared to the theatrics that my adult life has seen, I'm sure all of that drama was minuscule in comparison. Elementary school is filled with memories that I'll cherish forever. I remember us saying we'd be friends forever...funny how things change.

In junior high, when we went to different middle schools, was a real testing of our friendship. That time is rough, trying to figure out who you are as a person and undergoing changes. That's when we realized our interests didn't always coincide. When we linked back up in High School, it was weird. You had your friend group, and I had mine. People definitely didn't understand our friendship at that point, but you were my best friend and that was all I knew.

New friends did, however, bring new drama. Perhaps, it was the fact that I've always like shiny new things that I let new people in my life make me forget about the old ones. Maybe it's because the title "best friend" gets thrown around so easily and often that it didn't really mean much of anything anymore. All I know is that one day you had a best friend, and I had a best friend, and it wasn't each other anymore. If I ever let the temporary importance of high school dynamics blind me to who my real friends were, I'm sorry.

With graduating high school, we graduated into a new chapter in our lives. Occasional texts here and there, until there were none. One day, my childhood best friend became a Facebook friend, and our deeply rooted friendship became a thing of the past.

As I get older, and I have seen more friendships that I thought would be forever come and go, I think more about my childhood best friend. There wasn't really a falling out, we never started to hate each other, we just kind of stopped. I can't help but wonder what could have been. No break up has made me ask "what if?" more than this one. Granted, people grow up, get older, and move on. Yet, it's not that easy.

To my childhood best friend, I wish you the best. I never stopped loving you, and I want to say I'm sorry for the way things ended. I still feel proud when I see something new that you've accomplished. I still wonder about your mom and dad, your brother, and your grandma. I still care..I just don't know if I'm still welcome.

Maybe one day, our paths will cross again. Maybe, we can become friends again. Just know that a genuine friend is not easy to come by, and everyday I'm thankful for the friendship we once had. Sometimes I get sad when I can't hit you up and remind you of a joke, or laugh for hours with you about nothing.

To my childhood best friend, you taught me the meaning of friendship. Even though our friendship didn't last forever, you'll forever have a place in my heart.