Dear C,

Even though I know the odds of you finding this are one in a million, I won't mention your name simply for discretion.

I just wanted to say that I will always remember you, you were a close friend of mine in childhood and my first real crush. I often think about where you are and what you are doing with your life.

I remember you telling me about your love for marine biology, so maybe I'll see you on the news one day off saving the whales or working with preserving some endangered species and be able to say I knew you when we were scrawny little kids on the swim team.

Thinking back it makes me laugh and even blush at the things I used to do to get you to notice me. Silly things like laughing cutely at a friends joke when I knew you were looking. Stand taller so I looked more confident than I actually was. Or even things like attempting to flip my hair in a Princess Ariel type manner as I emerged from the water.

Gosh, some of the things I did are way too embarrassing to even say yet, only my sister knows because it was so weird.

I remember when you asked me over to your house for a playdate I was so excited. I didn't know what to wear! I remember being so stressed because I wanted to look cute for the first time you saw me without wet hair and junky clothes after swim practice.

You were the first to introduce me to Mario Kart which I'm glad to report I am much, much better at. You also introduced me to Super Smash Bros which I still suck at to this day.

I felt so grown up when you and I walked to the park by ourselves that day and spent what felt like hours talking about sea creatures. I still to this day love whale sharks because of the way you talked about them.

I still run into your mom around the library and I always want to ask about you but never get the nerve. I guess I still get those kiddy butterflies when I think about meeting you again someday, even now that we are both adults now. Gosh, that's weird to think about.

My mom did ask about your mom about you once and I wish she hadn't told me your mom's response. Not that it's bad, I hear you're doing fine, but I still like to imagine you're off living a great life even though it's not realistic.

I think it would be cool to hear from you again someday but I know the odds of that are low.

So, this letter is just to say thank you. Thank you for memories, for igniting a passion in me for marine life, for introducing me to a favorite video game, and for being my first crush, my first puppy love.

I don't even know if you still remember me or all that stuff I'm talking about, I like to think you still do. Maybe our paths will cross again sometime in the future, maybe they already have and neither of us realized. In my head, you're still the cute boy I so wanted to be my boyfriend.

I hope you really are doing well and you go places in your life.

All my puppy love,

Abbie