I have been in your shoes. I have felt your pain and I have lived through it. It seems as if everything you have grown used to is being ripped out from under your feet. The constant back and forth between two houses is terrible at first and the packing up never gets easier. You are scared of what this means for your family. Siblings make it easier, and if you have them, your relationship with them will grow stronger.
Although you can't see it right now, you will be happy your life took the course that it did. One day, you will wake up and see that your parents are now happier, and so are you. Maybe they have found love again and this can be scary for you. It is hard to accept another person in your life in such an intimate way.
You fear you will be betraying one of your parents and you will be wrong. Eventually, you will get a step-mom or step-dad or even both. At the beginning of the divorce, you felt as if you lost a part of yourself like you were no longer whole. As time passes and you gain new family members, you will feel as if you are MORE than whole.
Divorce in the family is not an ideal situation but it can make so many lives better and more full. You will go through a lot and there will be times when you envy your friends that still have both of their parents living under one roof. But you will also come to realize that those friends will never know what it is like to have 3 or 4 parents looking out for you and loving you.
They will not know what it truly means to see love so meaningfully give someone another chance. They will not feel the excitement of having a blended family.
A lot of people I know that had parents go through divorce voiced to me that they had a hard time believing in love anymore. For me, it made me question at first, what I thought love was. My parent's divorce definitely changed my definition of love, but it did not make me feel as though love was not real or lasting.
I used to think love was all play and no work. It was something that came easily and never wavered. I thought love was a Disney movie and boy was a wrong. After the divorce, I struggled with finding a new definition. I now know that love, while magical, takes a lot of work and dedication. Loving someone will include fights, bad days and setbacks. Love sometimes does not last but that does not make it lose it's meaning. Love, after all, is not a Disney movie.
We all want a love that lasts.
We EXPECT our love to last. But love is like a wild animal, it can not be predicted or tamed. We should not blame our parents for losing it or choosing to let go of it. Their love was not wasted because it brought children into the world, made a lot of happy memories and gave people some really great years. In even the worst of relationships, there will be some good that comes out of it. This is why even the shortest relationship has meaning and another reason love has no time span.
Looking back, I would not change a thing and I wish this was the case for every child that goes through this. I am now stronger. I understand the meaning of love a little more fully. I have a beautiful blended family and two happy parents. I no longer recognize the girl who was upset about the divorce and if I could, I would hug her and tell her that this will be the greatest change that happened to her.
