When you are a millennial, dating has a whole different meaning than in the past. Dating SUCKS as a millennial. In college, much of it is based on six pictures and a 500 word description. "Netflix and chill" are totally appropriate as a "date" option. Let's look at this a little closer.
It's the 1950's: You (as a female) are all dressed up in your best dress. Your mom or one of your really good friends is upstairs in your room with you trying to help you with your last few curls in your hair. Your date shows up at your door and actually rings the doorbell. You run downstairs excitedly as someone lets him in. He is probably wearing his Sunday best or at least khakis and a nice shirt. He hands you a small thing of flowers, possibly even handpicked by him depending on the season. You giggle, tell him thank you and hand them off to your mom or friend as you head out the door to his car. You enjoy a simple date. Dinner and a movie, maybe a walk around the park talking. He takes you home and MAYBE kisses you if the date went well. Where you run inside and call your friend about the first date with this guy.
Flash forward: It is 2017: You are in sweatpants with your makeup that you probably still had on from yesterday. He comes over and you don't even get off the couch. You just tell him to come on in after he texts you saying "here." You two sit on the couch and watch one episode of something you both agree on from Netflix and he starts to put the moves on you. Most likely he is going to try to get you out of your clothes by episode two and there are very little chances of episode three because he will be gone as soon as he's done or you say no. This has become the expectation and almost the standard for dating as a "20-something." You don't want to tell anyone what happened because you immediately feel a little tingle of guilt.
I have seen many of my female friends sharing posts on Facebook saying things similar to "I don't need expensive dates. I just need chicken nuggets and Netflix on the couch."
First of all, Women: You are not doing yourself any favors by making yourself appear "low maintenance." You are setting your guy up for failure if you tell him that you don't want flowers, but you really want him to just get them for you anyway. If you really don't want flowers, that is perfectly okay. Just don't expect your guy to read your mind and get them for you anyway.
More power to you if that is all you really need to be happy. But from my observations, these are usually the same women who are complaining that their guy doesn't want to go out. He won't buy her flowers. He doesn't really try to "woo" her.
They also share posts with pictures of rose petals on the bed spelling out "I love you" with captions that say "as if that would ever happen" or "I would just die if this happened." Then they turn around and say they don't need anything from their significant other to be happy.
Leading up to Valentine's Day, a Facebook friend of mine shared multiple pictures saying "I want to get dressed up and go out for Valentine's Day." Multiple times she tagged her husband in it as if she was trying to subtly hint that she wanted a date. Whether or not they actually went out, I don't honestly have a clue.
My future husband (God-bless-him) will take me out on all the dumbest-commercialized-holiday of the year. Not only will he take me out that day, we will go out at least a few times a month. Because I want a man, not a boy. I want someone who is caring enough to put some effort into impressing me or he probably won't make it passed the first date.
Second, I am not saying I expect a 5 Star Restaurant complete with flowers and a limo with personal chauffeur. But dinner and a movie would be suffice. I am so tired of the standard being hang out and hook up because I am not that type of girl and I never will be. I have the date expectations of a 1950's girl, stuck in the millennial time frame.
I am sick of chicken nuggets and Netflix on the couch. By women saying that all they want is time on the couch with chicken nuggets and "her man," I feel it is also lowering the standard for every other girl that wants flowers and dinner. Why should a guy take you out on a nice date if he could go to the other girls and not have to put effort in. As a generation, we are sending mixed signals to the guys of our generation about what we want.
I want a 1950's date, where we go out and dance, to a movie, or even just exploring the town. Take me to the fair or the circus when it is in town. Let's go to a bar where a live band is playing. Bowling or darts in a bar are always options. I have zero preference on where we go or what we do, but we will not be hanging out on a couch watching Netflix together.
Let us raise the standard for dates, by telling the men in our generation that we want more and stop telling them we want "Netflix and Chill."