Misophonia- the "hatred of sound" often referred to as selective sound sensitivity, is something that has effected me my entire life. Growing up in an Italian family has been extremely difficult, considering Italians often slurp and slosh their food, because they 'like to taste it.'

Misophonia is a punitive disorder, believed to be neurological, that many people do not understand, let alone acknowledge. When I ask you to chew with your mouth closed, it's not simply because it is gross and bad mannered to chew for the world to see, but because being able to hear and see you chewing causes me physical pain.

You may think this sounds silly but it is true. You know the dreadful feeling of the dentist scraping your teeth with his metal pic, or the discomfort you feel from nails on a chalk board? That's how I feel when you bite your fork and scrape it on your teeth, I cant help but cringe.

Asking you to have simple table manners may annoy you, but living with Misophonia is an annoyance that is inescapable. It is an isolating feeling because not many people understand it, they think you are simply annoyed but it is so much more. I hate asking you to remember what you are doing to me, I hate reminding you that something as simple as clicking your pen, scuffing your feet on the ground, or biting your nails absolutely disgusts me and makes me sick to my stomach. And I know that you don't always think about these things because some triggers make no sense, but know that when I ask you to have a little courtesy, its because I am suffering from something that I have no control over, but you do. Trust me, if I could stop it I would.

I have missed out on so many things because of Misophonia. I have constant anxiety when I go to dinner, movies, sporting events, and even class. Class is one of the hardest places to deal with it, because I can't simply get up and leave. I like to sit in front, but can't because if someone sits behind me and is chewing gum I will never focus. Finding a seat the first day of classes is enough to make anyone anxious, but when you have to worry about being able to see the board (being short) as well as not sitting near someone who will chew, it is so much harder. Honestly, even if we are on opposite ends of the room I will still hear you, and it will still bother me. But as long as I can see you, it somehow makes it the slightest bit better.

My parents have always told me that I'm over sensitive and I pay too much attention to it. "Loosen up,” or, “you just have to get over it" is something I have too often been told. But when I am at a concert with music playing and hear someone chewing gum behind me before I turn around to confirm, you cant tell me that I'm looking for it.

Unfortunately, rather than becoming more bearable over time, the disorder has gotten worse as I have gotten older. More sounds act as triggers and it has gotten harder to avoid places and people that I know will ‘annoy’ me. So if you ever see me staring or glaring at you, I don’t mean it personally.

So when someone says these little noises annoy them, instead of doing it more or louder to tick them off, consider for a minute how it is actually might be effecting them much deeper. We can't control it, but you can.