A letter to my beautiful melanated queens, who do not know how naturally beautiful they are.
This past week, I along with the world, have watched in awe as black women around the globe showed up and took over the Olympics in Rio one competition at a time. I beamed with pride and my heart beat pounded to the sounds of “I’m every women” (Both Chaka and Whitney killed it so either version fits). I mean to watch the diversity, the determination, the grace, the class, and the sheer grit of black women around the world take home gold after gold after gold.
Specifically, I sat back witnessing history being made with American teams and Olympians like Gabby Douglas, Simone Biles, Laurie Hernandez, and Simone Manuel. I could not have been more proud to see those stars and stripes and hear that good ol’ Star Spangled Banner play.
I took to Twitter to express that pride, and to see others express their pride and happiness. For some reason I expected to have a Twitter “kumbaya” moment. I expected to give out virtual hugs and high fives and get the same in return.
Upon opening up Twitter, I went to go look at trending topics…not surprisingly I saw that Gabby Douglas and Simone Blies were trending topics. I clicked on their names with excitement. My joy instantly become anger and sadness.
They were not trending because of their historic victories and Olympic triumphs. No, they were trending because of their hair!
HAIR….. AGAIN….HAIR
While Gabby Douglas was competing in the OLYMPICS, people were concerned that her hair was not neatly tucked away or smooth around the edges and she did not look like she was “fit to be on TV”.
This is some of the ugliness I saw on Twitter
It looks all too familiar. When pop singer Beyonce decided to leave her young daughter, Blue Ivy, hair’s in its natural state many people took to Twitter to express their hatred about the natural look of Blue. These are some of the comments made by grown people about a BABY on Twitter....
In this world where everywhere you turn you see racism, police murdering citizens, the Olympics should be a proud moment, especially when you see so many melanted people winning and winning big.
Instead….we are talking about hair.
Why does it bother so many people when a black person’s hair is worn or shown naturally?
Especially, to other black people. Maybe it has to do with the fact that all our lives we have been told, taught or trained by one person or institution after another that our natural hair is: Nasty, unkempt, untamed, nappy, curly, short, wild, unprofessional, ugly, fake, a distraction, not normal, etc, etc, etc….
Don’t believe me? Just watch:
Back to my beautiful melanated sisters… you NEED to know that your anger, hatred, and meanness that you directed to Gabby really does reflect on yourself… she was working, thus sweating, and her hair did what it was supposed to do, it absorbed the moisture. That is, after all, why it curls or kinks up.
African Americans or Africans in America, (key word African) we are descendants from Africans. Africa is very hot, below the equator. We have traits that reflect our geological heritage, one of those traits is our hair. Hair that defy’s gravity and stands to protect our head from the sun. So yes, as the day goes by, our hair kinks or curls up because it is absorbing our sweat and moisture and protecting our head - our crowns. That is part of what makes you, you.
Kim Coles did a great job of making her natural hair journey public and explaining that she wanted to love and accept all of her for herself. It is a journey that I am proud to see many women take. Daring to be their natural selves and not feeding into the beauty industries standards or definitions of what beauty is.
Beyonce has a beautiful song, entitled, “Pretty Hurts”. At the end of the song she says:
“When you're alone all by yourself
And you're lying in your bed
Reflection stares right into you
Are you happy with yourself
It's just a way to masquerade
The illusion has been shed
Are you happy with yourself
Are you happy with yourself
Yes” (Beyonce 2013).
So to my beautiful melanted sisters, be strong enough to look in the mirror and wipe away all of the makeup, weaves, extensions, designer clothes, etc… and love yourself…
Love your naps, love your frizz, love your curls, love each other…. Again your reflections and hatred about other people’s naps and kinks and frizz and curls means you have yet to accept and love your own.
Cheers to love, peace, and nappiness!
