Ask friends of mine to name a quality about me, and one a lot them will point out the fact that I am almost always smiling. I like to laugh and smile -- not to quote Buddy the Elf in April, but smiling is my favorite! It is probably my favorite go-to expression. However, what a lot of people do not see is that I have my down days. I have days when smiling and laughing is a real struggle, or when I have so much on my plate that going out of my way to be happy takes more effort than I have stored in me. Be it a symptom of college and growing up or a facet of life, I cannot always be content.
For whatever reason, these down days are not spoken about. One does not casually throw how they cried themselves to sleep during dinner with friends to choruses of "same" and similar examples. For the normally cheerful person, this is even more impossible of a feat, unless they wish to hear the dreaded "But you seem so happy!" when they self-disclose. Not being able to talk about your fears, anxieties, or sadness to those around you for fear you break the illusion of happiness can grow really stifling really fast.
To those cheerful souls stifled by their down days, you are valid.
It is not deceitful to one day be happy and the next day be sad. It is okay to confess you have not been doing well too, even though the conventional way to go about it is to say, "I'm fine" and deal with it later in private. I know I have my times where I, knowing people see me as a relatively happy individual, hide my emotions in an effort to not burden them. I keep it all bottled up and let it fester until it hopefully passes and I can move on. This is not healthy, nor is it realistic, but it is what I have grown accustomed to doing because of my fears.
I imagine my form of bottling things up is not an isolated experience, especially for the typical cheerful person. Everyone has their down moments they feel scared to share. It is cooler not to share, because who wants to hear about someone else's sadness? People just want the good stuff. Life is hard enough without having to hear other people's problems. However, these emotions are normal.
I mean really common.
Even the happiest and most successful person you can think of probably has had them. By asking someone you normally guide for help in getting past a particularly tough day, you are not upsetting them. You are not invalidating the happiness they normally turn to you for. You are not giving up some ruse. You are showing you are human and have real feelings, too. You are showing you have just as much a right to feel your emotions as anyone else. A few more smiles and laughs here and there do not invalidate you. It is just as okay as confiding to someone you know that that previous "I'm fine" you threw their way at dinner actually translates to you are experiencing a rough patch and are finding it hard to find your way back to happiness.
To the cheerful people of the world, feeling sad sometimes is a part of life. Your sad days are just as valid your happy ones, and choosing to express that sadness will not discredit any happiness you may share with the world. Keep spreading your joy when it comes.
Just know that, when the dark clouds do roll in, you are allowed to ask someone for an umbrella.
