The first time I heard the term “check your privilege” I was at camp the summer after high school. My first reaction was that it was a really lovely idea, even though I am a remarkably privileged person.

It is simply too easy to assume that others’ responses can be compared to mine, when, in fact, they are coming from a completely different place. Hunger, fear, disability, pain, poverty, discrimination – I acknowledge that I might experience the world very differently if I faced significant adversity.

I never went through the “don’t call me privileged” phase. But I think my perspective on privilege is worth sharing because it is rarely talked about from a person in a privileged position. I hope that perhaps my words might also encourage others to identify ways they may be privileged and not take that as some kind of smear, but rather as something to be grateful for.

So there are tons and tons of ways that we can be privileged. You live in America or another industrialized nation? You’re privileged. You have internet to read about privilege? That’s a privilege.

But let’s get to the more commonly talked about forms of privilege. I’m rich (socio-economic status), white (race), cisgender (gender identity), male (sex), straight (sexual orientation), and I’m not disabled either physically or mentally. I’m kind of the textbook definition of privileged.

I want to make one thing very clear and this will be important reading any articles I write on topics similar to this one: If you actually care about these topics, read other authors, specifically, those who are a part of the non-privileged group. Their perspectives are the ones that matter because we want to change things so that they no longer experience oppression.

Now I want to address those people who don’t like the term “privileged”. I’ve met people who say things like “I’m white, but my life is still hard”. This misunderstanding, in my mind, is the biggest issue.

But hear me now: Privilege has nothing to do with how easy your life is. I’m an incredibly privileged person, but anyone who knows me knows that my life has not always been easy. But the thing is, my life was never difficult BECAUSE of the fact I was privileged in those ways.

I never had to worry about where my next meal was coming from because I was rich. I never was watched at a store to make sure I wasn’t stealing because I was white. I never had to worry about being beaten up because I identified as the gender I was biologically born. I never had to go to a party in a group of my own sex in order to prevent myself from being raped because I was a male. I never had to worry about male friends leaving because they thought I would come onto them because I was straight. I never had to worry about my school making the necessary accommodations so that I could get the most out of my education because I wasn’t disabled.

But what does this privilege mean? Why do people not like to accept that they’re privileged?

I think this primarily comes from the idea that “if I accept that I’m privileged, then that means that I didn’t have to work hard to achieve the life I have”. Another reason is that people associate privileged people as being condescending and frivolous. For example, when I say I’m rich, you may picture me in a Vineyard Vines button down, colorful shorts, a pair of Ray-Bans and standing atop my huge yacht off the coast of my beach-front mansion (in reality, I’m not that rich).

But just because your life doesn’t fit the idealized prototype people think of for a particular privileged group doesn’t mean you aren’t a part of that group, nor should you stop being grateful for what you have.

And that’s what privilege is really about. It’s something to be grateful for. It’s something to recognize that is a part of the world and specific society you live in. And it’s something that should be spread to everyone as much as possible.

If you read through the ways that privilege affected my life again, you’d see none of them are things that, if changed, would worsen my life in anyway. If girls felt comfortable going to parties alone, it wouldn’t affect my safety going to parties. If everyone had enough to eat, I would not go hungry.

So often, privileged classes feel like equality costs them something. But really, equality is better for all of us because in all likelihood someone in your family or community is affected negatively by the oppression found in the status quo.

Yes, things are a thousand times better than they were before, but why stop when we’re making progress toward all classes of people feeling accepted and supported in our society?

So please, check your privilege. Be grateful for the things you have. Respect and support those in unprivileged positions. Really listen to their perspectives. And work to change the way things are to make our society and the world at large more inclusive and accepting of all kinds of people. You really can make a difference.