Privilege. This word has thrown around a lot in my articles. In fact, I believe I mention privilege in almost every single one. And even though this word finds itself embedded in my articles, I have yet to really dig into what it means, and how we can check our own privilege in a world that blinds us from it.

Firstly, I would like tell you what privilege is, since there seems to be some confusion that having privilege means having an easy life. This is an oversimplified way of looking at privilege. It's more nuanced than that. Life is not black and white.

Privilege is a benefit you are born into and is a trait that is seen as the "norm" or "standard" of being that society enforces and validates. For example, people with Caucasian sounding names are more likely to get a job interview than those who have Latinx or African names. Privilege exists everywhere and I can almost guarantee you, everyone probably has some kind of privilege. Granted, some people have more than others, but I digress.

I've noticed that people who have privilege get so defensive about addressing that privilege. Even mentioning the word in some spaces can lead to anger fueled statements or classic speeches that nothing short of guilt-tripping. Furthermore, when I try to tell people to check their privilege, they end up trying to disregard my opinion, attacking my character or flat out denying the existence of privilege. To these people, I have to say a few things.

First, there is nothing I can do to convince you that I know anything. I'm not even sure that I know what I know, but I can tell you that you can learn a lot about life by listening to people who come from different circumstances than you. If you are able-bodied, how could you ever know how it feels to be stuck on the first floor of a building unable to get to a meeting on the 6th floor without an elevator?

Secondly, I may not be the best person. I may be relatively ignorant or uninformed. Attack my person all you want but it doesn't make any fact I say less true. Maybe you should consider looking into what I am saying.

I may have gone a little off base here. This article is not about my online squabbles with people who cannot seem to open themselves up to learning something new.

Privilege exists. That is a fact. Like climate change, it is a reality many people like to pretend is false. You can deny that privilege exists til you're blue in the face, but have you considered maybe you can't see it because you have it? You don't know what you've got til it's gone isn't just an overused phrase. I find it applies heavily to privilege as well.

I hate that I have to say this, but having privilege does not make you a bad person. Being told you have privilege is not an insult, it's a just a fact of life that gives you unearned advantages over others. And, that is why if you have it, you've got to check yourself.

It's so easy to ignore your own privilege as those who have it have been socialized not to recognize it, or worse, that everyone is treated the way they have. That is an even harder lesson to unlearn, but it's important that we rewire our brains to be more critical of our society. In order to make change, we must first be able to recognize the problem. Individuals making mistakes are not a problem. It's when they refuse to grow from those mistakes that becomes the problem, especially when they have significant power.

Checking your own privilege is, I find, the first step in being an ally to marginalized communities. You know the feeling when your friends who brag about some expensive purchase of theirs when you were just crying about the amount of unpaid student loans you still have? Imagine that, but a thousand times worse. That's how unchecked privilege can make people feel pushed down even more. It can feel like someone kicking you when you're down. It's not fun and no one wants to feel that way. It's important to know when you do this, as to recognize it in the future.

When talking to another person, especially a person who may not have much privilege as yourself, consider a few things before making a statement that may step on some toes or telling someone to do something for you. Is what I am about to say invalidating to their experience? Can this person easily do the thing that I am asking of them? A quick tip I learned from my various leadership training is asking yourself: does this need to be said? Does this need to be said by me? Does this need to be said by me right now?

On youtube, there are plenty of videos that offer resources for learning more about privilege, power, and oppression. MTV's Decoded series with Franchesca Ramsey is a great for learning about white privilege and racial oppression. Kat Blaque has a lot of great videos on LGBTQIA+ issues, feminism, and race. Marina from the channel marinashutup makes great videos about feminism. Writer and activist Peggy McIntosh writes about examining her own white privilege in her essay, "Unpacking the Invisible Knapsack". I recommend looking into these excellent resources and educating yourself further about privilege and oppression.

I am, by no means, an expert on privilege. I find there is always more to learn and unlearn. I am not perfect. I mess up. I let my privilege take up too much space in certain circles sometimes. It happens, but I know that in order to grow and improve as a human being I've got to check my privilege. I have to check myself, before I wreck myself.