Emotional Intelligence is an imperative tool for any leader. Every time I turn on the television or read something on social media regarding politics, I am reminded of the significance of this skill .As a firm believer that leadership can be learned and is accessible for all of us, I recently started studying some of Daniel Goleman’s work on Emotional Intelligence and found some great tips on increasing our Emotional Intelligence. Just follow these simple steps:
Self-Awareness -- In the age of snap chat and ‘selfies’ we have lost some of our ability to perceive or clarify our own emotions. Rather than always presenting an image where we have it together, we have to be able to clarify what we are feeling. We have to identify our strengths and weaknesses, our values and the way we impact others or how others may be perceiving us. A great example is our very self-aware FLOTUS in her DNC speech sharing about her experience as a woman of color
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Being self-aware also includes being comfortable in our skin and with our values but also being aware of our own weaknesses or blind spots and building strong teams or groups with diverse perspectives.
Self-regulation -- While this is entirely not necessary if you are in a reality show, it is imperative for being President or in almost any other leadership role. According to Goleman, people who are in control of their feelings and impulses can help create an environment of trust. It requires validating your feelings, asking a few questions -- through the process of inner dialogue -- as to why you feel the way you do and make a decision as to the best way to communicate this to your team. An example would be after your team has a colossal fail and you are disappointed, angry, frustrated, and anxious. The best way to approach this would be to acknowledge and try to figure out reasons for the "fail." Understand all the team members already feel discouraged and re- direct them to identify mistakes, learn from them and do better next time.
Motivation -- This requires us to tap into our own inner drive to be creative and achieve bigger, better things by re-imagining products or services. In leadership we refer to this as being innovative and challenging our own processes, so that we are constantly improving. An example would be cell phones. Could we even imagine a time when our phones were just used to make calls? I am extremely grateful to Steve Jobs and his awesome inner motivation!
Empathy -- This involves understanding the people we are working with. How might they be processing what we are saying? “Sawubona “is an African Zulu greeting for hello that means “I see you.” Empathy requires us to see the people we are working with and consider their emotions and create an environment where their values and opinions matter.
Social Skills -- Leadership is about relationships. Building strong relationships and inspiring others is the culmination of everything we learn about Emotional Intelligence and involves practicing them to build strong teams.
Goleman suggests that what distinguishes great leaders from merely good leaders isn’t IQ or technical skills but emotional intelligence. I hope this quick cheat sheet will help give us some help at being great!
