What do you want in a boyfriend? Maybe someone who's kind, loving, and thoughtful? You know, someone who buys you flowers at the farmer's market and fully embraces the cheesy couple Instagram posts you're just dying to upload. Or maybe you're looking for something more relaxed. You want the goofball adventurer who keeps you on your toes.

Whatever you're looking for, I can promise you this: you're not going to meet him at a frat party and you don't need to find him while you're in college. You're not going to stumble into a strangers arms mid-"Trap Queen," and find this dream guy. The bartender isn't going to ask you to go for coffee tomorrow, and the DJ doesn't keep staring at you because he thinks you have a beautiful view of the world.

Yet, we delusionally think that one of those guys bumping and grinding in the blacklight is the one we've been looking for. Sure, he's easy to talk to, and he's super cute (at least in the dark), but how often do the romance movies you call "goals" start off with a drunken hookup? My guess is not very many at all.

So why do we get our hopes up only to get our hearts broken when Mr. Rum-and-Coke forgets your name the next time you see each other? Why do we take it personally when blondie goes to get a drink and never comes back? Why do we feel like we got punched in the gut when the guy you've been talking to starts hooking up with another girl in the corner?

Why? Because we're fools, pretty little fools.

Now I'm not saying that it's impossible to find Mr. Right at a frat party, but 97.6 percent of the time the guy you hope is Mr. Right is really only Mr. Right Now. Yes, I've seen my fair share of relationships come from one night stands, drunken exchanges of numbers, and sloppy make out seshes. However, I've also seen the quick burnouts, the lack of trust - many times rightfully so -and the horrendous drunk texts that come after the fall out. There are exceptions to this rule, but I find it's better to expect and be prepared for the worst and be surprised by the best than the other way around.

Actually, forget even meeting a guy at a party. I've seen so many girls give their hearts away to someone while in college and end up miserable. A major trauma to the relationship is the abundance of attention. As much as we fear that he'll meet someone else when we're not around, we forget that he feels the same exact way. Then the relationship becomes more like a pillow suffocating the both of you. He's always asking where you are and why you're snapchatting so-and-so. You always want to be at his side and end up stalking all of his social media favorites making yourself paranoid.

Here are two worst case scenarios: you get stuck with something that stresses you out and changes you in a bad way, or one of you goes astray. Either way, you end up feeling like you missed out on memories when you were home with your now newest ex, and seem to have drifted away from friends because you spent your days obsessing over him. You'll often ask yourself, was he worth it? And far too many times the answer is no.

But, don't get too discouraged, I have great news! There's this one guy, Vlad, who will always have your back. He'll give you some great memories, but keep some of the best ones for himself. He turns a boring night into a wild ride and a party flop into a late night hot spot. He helps you take the best pictures and always plays a part in the hilarious stories you plan to pass on for generations. Sureeee, sometimes he can be a frenemy, but in the end, he's not going to break your heart. You don't have to worry about him cheating on you, or stress about how to dtr (define the relationship). Also, if you break things off with him to explore other options, there's no hard feelings; he'll be there for you when you're ready to come back to him.

In all seriousness, the real point here is that the best college boyfriend is no boyfriend at all. College is four years to explore. Four years to figure out who you are. Four years to make memories that'll last a lifetime. If you choose to spend them tied down, be my guest. I hope things work out and I'll be rooting for you via Instagram likes (also, if you do end up get married, feel free to say "suck it" during your bridal shower speech).

However, as fun as it would be to find someone special for awhile, I'd rather spend my time making my life special. I'd rather look for a great group of girl friends than a boyfriend. I'd rather spend my nights making memories surrounded by my friends than with someone I may not see when summer comes or ever again after graduation. I'd rather work on me than work on "us." And I'd much rather go home with Vlad than wait around for "Regret number 7" (formerly known as Mr.Rum-and-Coke) to text me back.

So put on some lipstick, choke down some cheap alcohol, and dance on a few tables. Have fun and experience college to the fullest, but don't forget that you don't need a boyfriend or steady man in your life. Some day your prince will come, but, for now, kissing a few frogs will have to do. Just don't keep one of them around for too long. You might catch its warts. Or worse: feelings.