You may or may not have ever read Proverbs 31, but I will give a little recap of it to get you familiar.
Proverbs 31 is all about the wife of noble character that us christian girls are meant to strive to be. The woman in this proverb has it all together. She works very hard and has all of the characteristics of a woman of the Lord. She is the perfect wife and mother, and everyone loves her.
Throughout the whole chapter, her looks are not mentioned once. We are given this picture of a strong woman with a beautiful heart, but we have no idea what she looks like. We know that people love and respect her. We know that her family praises her and calls her blessed. We know that she is incredibly hard working and committed to the Lord and His people. We also know that she is confident, and does not live in fear. She is wise and faithful. She is all the things that a Godly woman should be, but we still do not know what she looks like.
I think our society has it backwards. I think that we only see what someone looks like, and base our judgements off of that. I think that we see people for how beautiful or handsome they are, and not how committed they are to the Lord. I think that we justify people not being super great, because they look good or are charming. I think we so often fall into this trap of charm and beauty, but it is time to get out of it.
Ladies: how often do get caught up in a guy, because he is attractive and knows how to talk to you in a smooth way?
Guys: how often do you get caught up in a girl because she is beautiful?
I can’t speak for everyone, but I think it happens way too often where we caught up in charm and beauty, and use that as a basis for a relationship. We make attraction the most important part about a relationship. Don’t get me wrong, I do think attraction is important, but there is so much more to a relationship than that. Surface level characteristics will only get you so far.
And I hate to break it to you, but a sense of humor is not enough to have a lasting relationship. These are such surface level qualities that we are so easily drawn to. Of course a sense of humor is a wonderful thing and I of all people desire that in a guy, but funny, charming, and cute do not qualify someone as a good guy, or the right person for you.
The person that you think is the most beautiful or the most attractive might not be the person you want to live with everyday. Just because you like to look at someone does not mean you will make a good pair and work well together. I have learned through my experience that dating is so much more about finding a good partner than it is about being attracted to someone.
So when it comes to dating, look into a person a little deeper than their appearance and charm.
Look for the hard working, loving, and confident people. Look for the respected, the wise, and the faithful people. I promise you that these qualities will outlive charm and beauty and will make for a much happier and lasting couple. Let's be intentional about what we look for in someone and not fall in the trap of deceptive charm.
