Recognition day at the Citadel in Charleston, South Carolina, is a big deal for the cadets and now more so for their parents. It is a day the freshman men and women are physically pushed to their limits as the last day being known as a knob. If they successfully complete the challenging activities throughout this day, then they are granted the privilege to be recognized as a true cadet and the fourth class system is no longer in effect.
I was fortunate enough to attend the festivities on campus this past month to witness why the institution is losing its identity. For as long as I can remember the Citadel has had one of the greatest reputations for honor, brotherhood, and tradition. In the past few years, it has lost the true meaning of those characteristics.
Why, you might ask? A large part has to do with the parents believing their child is extremely special and deserves royal treatment. Remember, this is a military school that for a hundred and 74 years has prided itself on having the most demanding fourth-class system of any senior military college. Do not expect your child to be handed everything at this school because everything is earned and nothing is to be expected. Throughout the festivities of field day, I mean recognition day, the number of parents there blew my mind. I almost could not see the cadets through them.
After the cadets finish on the fields following their lap around campus together they head back to their barracks and it is closed off to the parents. They crowd around the sally ports to see if they can get one more peep at their child or yet another picture of their child doing physical activities. From just an observer it resembled a field trip to the zoo while in elementary school and everyone wants to see feeding time with the lions or the seal balancing a ball on its nose. I can assure you that your son or daughter is not being mauled by a lion so if you would please give them their space. I understand that they are proud of their child and all they have accomplished in their nine months, but this is their day to bond with their classmates and create memories to tell their grandchildren one day. And by no means am I a parent who has a child attending the school, but they are an adult now and it is time to let go and as a college student I find this extremely important in order to flourish to my fullest potential.
After the gates were reopened and the newly recognized cadets were set free I watched as parents, who had driven several hours to see their child, were ignored as their child looked for their fellow classmates to take a congratulatory photo. I knew they would speak later on and he would be extremely grateful they were there but that shows the baby bird has finally left the nest and doesn’t need them for every step on the way.
Instead of a typical college visit prospective students are called pre-knobs and stay one night alongside a knob to have a feel of what the school is like. While the prospective students are off on their own learning more about the school, the director of admissions and other board members along with cadets representing each class hold a Q&A time for parents in the Bond Hall auditorium.
During this time, it gives the parents time to learn more about the institution they might send their child to. Recently, a mother attending the Q&A had the guts to ask why her child was not allowed to have their phone during Hell week or as the administration likes to call it challenge week, to be politically correct. It has been a tradition to call it Hell week for a reason. You are living in Hell for a week. This is a test to see if the knob is fit enough to attend the school physically and mentally, not a time to check social media, call mom to complain, or to play angry birds. This day in age is too obsessed with technology and some parents rely on it as well to know every movement of their child. It really bothers the parents that they will not know how their child is doing for one whole day. When the school was originally founded the parents had to write letters to contact their children, so let that register for a moment. I know times have progressed and the way of life is different, but the amount of presence a parent has in their adult child’s life should change from their relationship of adolescence.
For the sake of the school’s reputation, the cadets attending the school, the alumni writing the donation checks, and anyone who comes in contact with the college, I hope the administration sees that it should not be dictated by the parents and it should listen to the needs of the corps of cadets. Strength is not created in controlled and comfortable circumstances. The cadets and knobs deserve a system that breaks them and pushes them to their farthest limit. Parents are not entitled to any part of this experience and the only person they hurt through their helicopter parenting is their own child. Cut off the phone, get off the Facebook groups complaining about your precious little child, and let them earn it on their own.
