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The 13 Steps of Applying for Internships

Because you can't just lay around all summer

Rebekah Covington

Mar 08, 2016

Chapman University

The 13 Steps of Applying for Internships

GIPHY

It’s hunting season; internship hunting season. It’s stressful and long, but at the end you have a satisfying job getting coffee for people. Hopefully.

Here’s what everyone goes through when applying to internships.

1. You begin the search for internships.

How did 21 tabs get open?

2. You find a few you want to apply for.

3. You learn you don't qualify for any of them.

4. You find three jobs you can apply for.

5. You start your resume and cover letter.

6. You realize it's all garbage so you start over.

7. You revise it and send the new draft to your mom/dad/siblings etc.

8. They send it back to you and you revise it...again.

9. You attach the resume and cover letter and hover over the submit key, knowing you can’t change anything once you hit that button.

10. Have an existential crisis over what to do.

Do you really want this internship? Will it really help? Is making copies really going to jump start your career?

11. Decide yes to all these questions because you need a job.

12. Hit Submit and wait agonizing weeks to hear back.

13. Do it all over again.

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The 13 Steps of Applying for Internships

Because you can't just lay around all summer

1. You begin the search for internships.

2. You find a few you want to apply for.

3. You learn you don't qualify for any of them.

4. You find three jobs you can apply for.

5. You start your resume and cover letter.

6. You realize it's all garbage so you start over.

7. You revise it and send the new draft to your mom/dad/siblings etc.

8. They send it back to you and you revise it...again.

9. You attach the resume and cover letter and hover over the submit key, knowing you can’t change anything once you hit that button.

10. Have an existential crisis over what to do.

11. Decide yes to all these questions because you need a job.

12. Hit Submit and wait agonizing weeks to hear back.

13. Do it all over again.

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It's not just business as usual.

Constantly having to dress business formal.

Group projects.

Applying for internships.

Being told your major is easy.

You just want to be rich already.

Explaining to people why you're a business major.

Using LinkedIn like it's Facebook.

You grow up too fast.

Trying way too hard to make a good impression on companies at career fairs.

Many of your professors have foreign accents.

You don't want to graduate, but you know that you're more than ready.

10 things that most incoming college freshmen have no idea about.

Your Schedule

The Library

Time Management

Registration

Housing

The Dining Hall

Teachers

Clubs

High School Friends

Finals

It's not all morning coffees and singing along to the radio.

You can't just go to your room to take a nap in the middle of your classes.

Having to spend all your extra cash on gas for your car.

Speaking of money, you probably don't have a meal plan so you're forced to scrounge up some change or mooch off of your friends.

It can be harder to maintain the friendships you make with people from class.

Finding a parking spot.

It can be harder to be involved on campus because between your one, two, or three jobs and school you don't have much free time.

When you try to be super involved on campus, it can kill your sleep schedule.

It's impossible to do homework at home, but staying on campus isn't an option sometimes.

There are surveys and events that you can't participate in because you're a commuter.

Group projects are the bane of your existence.

Traffic.

Your backpack rivals that of a survivalist trekking in the woods.

Driving all the way to campus to find a note on the door of your classroom saying class was cancelled.

Because have you ever had to endure grilling your foot on a George Foreman?

1. When he just wanted bacon from his George Foreman grill

2. When he had money (and Jan) issues

3. When he got upstaged at Phyllis' wedding

4. When he unintentionally saved Meredith from rabies

5. When he wore a "bisexual" suit

6. When he had to apologize to Jesus

7. When his GPS drove him into a lake

8. When he had to deal with Ryan as his boss

9. When he couldn't fulfill his most generous empty promise

10. When this happened

11. When he struggled with a X-Mas break up

12. When he had to defend his generosity

13. When he threw a classy Christmas party for Holly but she had a boyfriend

14. When he had to stand up to peer pressure

15. When Toby was "Toby-ish"

This isn't just for the single Pringles out there either, folks

Run Around Clanging Pots and Pans in Everyone's Face

Eat the Last Few Pigs in a Blanket

Pop Twelve White Grapes

Burn Something

Smash Things Against a Wall

Spontaneously Begin an Irish Jig

Call Your Mother

Throw a Coffee Table Out a Window

Sing "Auld Lang Syne" at the Top of Your Lungs

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