As the years pass, we all change and grow as people. Our experiences and struggles shape who we ultimately become— key word shape, not define. Everyone deals with things that take their tolls on us, but sometimes, the most painful and seemingly undefeatable difficulties in life are the ones that prove to be the most beneficial, helping us to discover who we are and what we truly want in life.

Tough times often feel eternal. For those struggling, there is always that moment when that dreaded thought hits you: “This is it, this is my life. This is going to be the way it will be for me forever.”That may or may not be the moment where you realize it’s time to reach out. Either way, however you choose to continue from this point, the inevitable fact of the reality is that you will be learning about yourself. If you do reach out, you’ll be growing in ways you never thought possible. If you don’t, each new setback will still teach you something about yourself.

For obvious reasons, the first is clearly the better option. Regardless of how long it takes you to get to that point, to when you feel ready to address the problem and ensure that it won’t be your life, it will be a learning process from start to finish and then some. And once you feel that you’ve figured out some pretty important things, you want to share them.

Here, then, lies the issue: a person’s darkest (and, by extension, perhaps eventually enlightening) times are typically incredibly personal. It takes a great deal of courage to speak about it, to express what was happening and how exactly it affected you, and it can take a very long time to reach that point of readiness. It could prove to be immensely helpful, to discuss your hardships with others, and it can bring about a sense of purpose if you also know that your experiences may help someone else, or at least raise awareness. However, fear of ridicule can override that desire. I, for one, know that I certainly would want to one day inspire others by sharing my story clearly and honestly rather than through a series of vague articles and sarcastic, seemingly off-handed jokes. But before I can do that, I need to reach a point of confidence not only with myself, but also with my journey— I know that I still have much to learn from the work I am currently doing, and that I still need to experience more struggles and pain before I can come to truly appreciate my progress and the ways in which I have reshaped myself.

Every day, as I continue to further explore everything in my life that has led up until now, I can feel myself growing and changing. My experiences, the good and especially the bad, have affected who I am today, but they are not who I am. True, I am still working on figuring out that second part, but I hope that sometime in the not too distant future, I’ll know the answer. Right now, I just want to take a moment to thank those who have been helping me get through this winding, difficult road— you’re my inspirations, my sources of comfort and security, my daily reasons to laugh and smile, and you’re the reasons as to why one day, this will be more than just a vague article about something that I’m still trying to find the words to describe.