“I need to post this on my snap story so he will see it and get jealous!”

My friend said this to me as I snapped a picture of her and a guy at the bar. I rolled my eyes and handed her the phone. “Why don’t you just talk to him instead of trying to make him jealous?” I asked in an irritated tone. Truth is, I have no room to talk. I’d be lying if I said I haven’t done the same thing. I’d be lying if I said I haven’t thrown on a jersey and joined the game in hopes of coming out as the MVP. We all have“I need to post this on my snap story so he will see it and get jealous!”

Love has become a game, but unlike the games we played as children, it always ends in brokenness and confusion. The rules are simple:

You don’t text back right away so you don’t look too eager. You don’t say how you feel because you don’t want to ruin what you have. You don’t care if they see you dancing with someone else at the bar. You don’t put a label on it because you might match with someone hotter on Tinder. You don’t send a text at 3 pm, but always send one at 3 am. We live in a world where love is at our fingertips. Countless apps, social media, and bars filled with single people our age make it easy to have someone by the end of the night.

So why, in a world where love is at our fingertips, is it so hard to find love?

We treat love as if it were a World Series game, and like Bryant throwing the winning out to first base, we long to be the person with the grin on our face knowing we aren’t going to be the one losing this time. We’re not the one crying on the bench, exhausted from a fight that wasn’t good enough. We win.

It isn’t until the high fives stop, the bar lights turn on, and the euphoric feeling of coming out on top ends, that we find ourselves lying in bed lonelier than we were before we won.

Love, a feeling that was meant to fill us, has been turned into a game that empties us. Let’s do ourselves a favor and turn in our jerseys, throw away the trophies, and let go of the idea that we must take part in the game. Tell that guy how you feel about him. Text that girl at 3 pm just to say hey. Delete your apps and pursue that one person. Go on dates, send her flowers, and text back right away. Be vulnerable. Stop making love a game and start making it something meaningful again. You’ll get rejected, embarrassed, and things may be a little uncomfortable, but that’s what makes it a raw and beautiful thing. One of my favorite quotes says it best:

“Anything less than mad, passionate, extraordinary love is a waste of time. There are too many mediocre things in life and love should not be one of them.”