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I Finally Realized That I'm Only Into 'Bad Boys' Because i Want To Change Them

I'm finally realizing that it isn't up to me to save anybody.

Abigail Huse

Jul 09, 2018

University of Wisconsin Branch Schools

I Finally Realized That I'm Only Into 'Bad Boys' Because i Want To Change Them

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I've never been one to thoroughly examine my romantic love life. It takes years for me to look back on past relationships and think, "Was that really the greatest fit for me? For them?"

I'm uncomfortable discussing the aspects of my romantic life with other people, regardless of how close I may be with them. Introspection unnerves me, nearly as much as the analysis family and friends offer me about my personal relationships does. I don't want to be "that girl" who can't focus on anything other than romance, thus combating it by giving 0% of my attention and effort to that cause.

And then, about a year ago, it hit me. I don't want to examine my choices in romantic partners because I know my process is faulty. I fall for "bad boys" because I want to change them. I fall for "bad boys" because I want to be the one to fix them.

You see, I've struggled with codependency issues for as long as I can recall. Alcoholism runs pretty rampantly in my family, so from a young age, I've been conditioned to love those who are struggling. While I am proud of this, as I believe it makes me a compassionate and understanding person, codependency has found its way into my adult relationships, and not always for the better.

Because of this, I often fall for people who are struggling with addictions, or mental health dilemmas or are otherwise working on themselves. I want to be the person they turn to at 3 a.m. when they feel like relapsing. I want to be their verbal punching bag when their depression, anxiety, PTSD, MPD, or anger issues come to the surface. I want to be the support system that urges them to do better for themselves so that they can live to their full potential.

It took years for me to come to terms with why my romantic love life is sort of sketchy, for lack of better words. It took years for me to realize that wanting to "save" somebody does not equate to romantic attraction. It took me years to realize that loving somebody will not spontaneously change their life for the better.

It took me years to realize that you can't change anybody, that they have to do it themselves because they want to.

The 12 Stages Of Course Registration, As Told By "Friends"

No one best represents the struggle like our favorite 90s squad.

The State University of New York at Stony Brook

5142

YouTube

As college students, we are all familiar with the horror show that is course registration week. Whether you are an incoming freshman or selecting classes for your last semester, I am certain that you can relate to how traumatic this can be.

1. When course schedules are released and you have a conflict between two required classes.

Bonus points if it is more than two.

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registration

Featured

Economic Benefits of Higher Wages

Nobody deserves to be living in poverty.

Florida International University

302238

Illistrated image of people crowded with banners to support a cause

StableDiffusion

Raising the minimum wage to a livable wage would not only benefit workers and their families, it would also have positive impacts on the economy and society. Studies have shown that by increasing the minimum wage, poverty and inequality can be reduced by enabling workers to meet their basic needs and reducing income disparities.

I come from a low-income family. A family, like many others in the United States, which has lived paycheck to paycheck. My family and other families in my community have been trying to make ends meet by living on the minimum wage. We are proof that it doesn't work.

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Entertainment

13 Times April Ludgate Perfectly Explained College

Because who understands your bitterness better than April?

Indiana University - Purdue University Indianapolis

1731

Every college student knows and understands the struggle of forcing themselves to continue to care about school. Between the piles of homework, the hours of studying and the painfully long lectures, the desire to dropout is something that is constantly weighing on each and every one of us, but the glimmer of hope at the end of the tunnel helps to keep us motivated. While we are somehow managing to stay enrolled and (semi) alert, that does not mean that our inner-demons aren't telling us otherwise, and who is better to explain inner-demons than the beloved April Ludgate herself? Because of her dark-spirit and lack of filter, April has successfully been able to describe the emotional roller-coaster that is college on at least 13 different occasions and here they are.

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april ludgate

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I Finally Realized That I'm Only Into 'Bad Boys' Because i Want To Change Them

I'm finally realizing that it isn't up to me to save anybody.

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No one best represents the struggle like our favorite 90s squad.

1. When course schedules are released and you have a conflict between two required classes.

2. When there is only one section of a popular course.

3. Receiving the 18,000 emails reminding you to register ASAP.

4. When you need to see an advisor, but they are too busy/unresponsive.

5. Trying not to dress like a bum for your appointments with your advisors/department heads.

6. When you have a perfectly planned out schedule, and one class ruins it.

7. Carefully moving things around to accommodate a different class/section.

8. Waking up at 6:00 a.m. for your enrollment time.

9. Concocting a new schedule at your enrollment time after your original plan gets changed.

10. Getting into a class and filling the last available seat.

11. When all of your classes finally go through.

12. Realizing that you forgot a class that was a pre-requisite for everything else.

When your capability of "adulting" is put to the test

Nobody deserves to be living in poverty.

"Nobody living in one of the most influential nations in the world should be worried about making ends meet."

What is the current minimum wage at the federal level?

What are the benefits of raising the minimum wage?

What are the states that have set a $15/hour minimum wage?

Told through Parks & Recreation GIFs

Because who understands your bitterness better than April?

1. When you have to provide an "interesting fact" for your first day ice-breaker.

2. When your professor is babbling on and on in his lecture.

3. When you edit your friend's paper and they get an A.

4. When it's 2 AM and you remember you have a test tomorrow.

5. When you finish taking the test and you're pretty sure you failed...

6. ...but then you get the test back and somehow passed.

7. When you've been up for 12 hours straight writing a paper.

8. And then you manage to stay awake in class the next day.

9. When you have to butter up your professor for an extra credit opportunity.

10. When you're assigned a group project.

11. And your group-mates are trying to chat about life instead of the assignment.

12. When it's your last class of the day and you're about to go home.

13. But then you remember rent is due tonight and the anger comes back.

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