For most of high school, I was the same weight. I don't remember gaining much weight or losing much weight. I just stayed the same. I didn't weigh enough to give blood, even though I tried to each semester.
When I came to college, I didn't eat well. I was under a lot of stress and had to adjust to the rigor of college classes. I'm pretty sure my daily coffee runs contributed a lot to my weight gain.
I wrote about fearing the Freshman 15 a while ago. Many people come to college scared that they'll gain weight. I get it. I was one of those people.
When I found out I gained weight during my freshman year, I was disappointed. I felt like I had done something wrong. Did I eat too much? Why did I let myself get lazy? These questions seemed to take over my mind, and I felt really bad about myself.
Looking back on pictures of myself, though, I've realized that I look a lot healthier now.
I was never underweight in high school, but some of my friends commented that my cheekbones looked really thin and hollow. I looked lifeless at times. I wasn't actively trying to lose weight, but I don't think I was healthy. I didn't eat enough.
Sure, drinking iced coffee every day isn't healthy either. But I ate more regularly, which is something I didn't do in high school. In high school, I lost my appetite quite often. I don't know if it was due to a medication I was taking or perhaps depression. Either way, I know I wasn't taking care of myself properly.
Over time, I realized that I shouldn't be angry at my body for changing so much. I should love my body because it can do incredible things.
Who cares if I gained weight? I feel great. That's all that matters.
Who cares if I have stretch marks on my thighs? My thighs are strong and beautiful.
I'm still healthy. I work out daily, and I've never felt better.
I still have a long way to go on my journey to loving my body completely. For example, I'm working on not feeling guilty for eating food. Food is fuel. It's okay to eat unhealthy things in moderation.
I love going to the gym because it reminds me of the incredible things that my body can do. Yeah, sure, I've gained 10 pounds since I came to college. But it doesn't matter. I'm still in shape. My body is still amazing.
The grind never stops.Heather DeSalvo
If your body has changed, that's okay. Don't get angry at yourself for not being the same weight as you were in high school. Focus on taking care of your body and feeling great in your own skin.
You'll get there, I promise. Give yourself permission to love your body. It's a gift.
