Last year around this time my life looked completely different from today. I got on a plane for a journey that I had no idea how things would play out. The only thing I can remember for sure I wanted and I was craving was peace.
Now, I know that a change of environment doesn't necessarily mean I will have peace because peace is a fruit of the spirit (Galatians 5:22-23). In other words, peace is of God, I need to know God and have a relationship with Him in order to experience real peace. But, there are temporary fixes like change of environment that works for a moment. You know the saying “the grass is always greener on the other side" I got to experience that last year.
Before I went on exchange, I had this idea of how peaceful my life would be, but when I got there I was troubled for a while, things that I couldn't see while I was in Miami. When I was on that plane, I had so many ideas going in my mind. On one hand, I was excited for so many reasons, one is that I felt like I did something for myself, I did something to make me happy, I even wrote an article DO IT FOR YOU.
On the other hand, I was very upset at life and I had a million ideas going on through my mind. I was thinking about what will happen when I go back to Miami, what will happen if my loan doesn't kick in, what will happen if no scholarship comes in, what will happen if I have a bad roommate, what will happen if not having a car is a problem. When I tell you I had a million ideas going on, I really did. But, you know what was the worst thing I had a scale in Maryland I believe, meaning more time to think. But, I had a good friend of mine who kept me company for a while, so I didn't have to think too much.
Fast forward to when I got settled on campus. My view was wonderful from every corner of my apartment. I still miss it till these days. All my contentment started when I got on campus, I got to pick which bed I wanted because I got there before my roommate. I spoke a lot about my journey in my past articles Are You Ready For The Flood? and Because Of The Flood.
But let me give you a brief overview of how my life has changed.
1. Moved to a new state
2. Was upset at life
3. Said I would never forgive a lot of people
4. Thought I was blameless
5. Missed my friends
6. Made a couple new friends
7. Thought God abandoned me
8. Thought there was no way out
9. Thought that the best decision of my life was the worst (exchange)
10. Got to meet people that show me love without knowing me
11. Got to go to converge
12. Got to have a NEW ENCOUNTER WITH JESUS
13. Got to experience God's love
14. Got a Bible (cause I left mine home)
15. Got to believe that God is by my side again
16. Got to believe that tomorrow will be be better
17. Got to believe that with God there is always another way that no mind can see.
18. Got to believe in forgiveness
19. Got to experience the fruit of the spirit “peace"
20. Got scared of Miami
21. Didn't buy my ticket to come back until a couple of days before my move out day
22. Thought God wouldn't be able to sustain me in Miami
23. Thought I would fall back in my old ways
24. But God sent new people in my life to help me with this walk
25. I still felt a little bit outside of my world when I first moved back
26. Found a new home church after visiting so many
27. I got baptized
30. Currently serving in the Lord's house
31. My favorite thing of all time is that God doesn't stop using me as a vessel no matter how unfit I feel.
As you can see, I had many up and downs, but God has been sustaining me through it all. So, whether you are having a million ideas going through your mind, or you are wondering if God has abandoned you, I want you to remember that there are better days ahead. I want you to remember that God's mercy renews every day, I want you to remember that you are never alone even if you feel like it. When you are in the moment, it is hard to believe this I know. I remember one day I was crying and my person told me that things will not stay like that forever "tomorrow will be better."
I have to say that I didn't believe her because that is not what I was feeling at the moment. I felt like my world was crashing. But, now I know that she was right, I know how BIG my GOD is. Because of this dark season of my life, I can now tell you with confidence GOD IS BY YOUR SIDE, DO NOT BE AFRAID, DO NOT LOSE FAITH, BE HOPEFUL, HE WILL SUSTAIN YOU, STAY CONFIDENT.
Xoxo,
DD
