Most of our days are spent on auto-pilot, plain and simple. We wake up, go to work/school, get home, hang out, sleep, repeat. There is typically very little variance in our days, which requires very little abstract or different thinking.
An alarming majority of our thoughts are derived from what I will call "deficit thinking."
Deficit thinking is characterized by the framing of thoughts in terms of what is lacking or absent. I'm too this, so I can't that. I'm not this, so I won't that.
"I don't have the money."
"I can't travel."
"I'm not attractive enough."
"I can't get him or her."
How much time do you spend thinking about the things you don't have? How about the things you can't do?
Stop thinking about life in terms of what you think is missing. Start living life in gratitude for what is present.
It can be tough! One of our favorite things to do when we get together is to commiserate with one another on what we wish life would hand us. It's true, isn't it? What we don't realize is that when we do this, we are compounding the energy spent focusing on lack - exactly the opposite of what we truly want to do. We are submitting to deficit thinking.
The titan of personal psychology Abraham Maslow said, "Self-actualizing people are people who never place their thoughts on what is missing in their life."
You cannot put your thoughts on what's missing unless you want more of what's missing to show up in your life. In other words, when you tell yourself, "I'm not attractive" or "I wish I was more attractive," your brain receives those thought impulses and says, "Well, I guess I'm not attractive!", thus cementing the idea in your subconscious.
What's more, what you think is what you outwardly project, so the message "I'm not attractive" is registering in the minds of those around you, albeit subconsciously.
Our goal is to shift away from deficit thinking and move towards "abundance thinking," which is characterized in terms of what we possess. Abundance thinking focuses on the things we offer to this world - our personality, talents, and unique qualities - as well as the things we are blessed with - health, happiness, opportunity.
If your thoughts are on "what is" in your life, and you don't like "what is," then you will continue to attract more of "what is" into your life, even though you despise it. Example - millions of people in America are living under the poverty level.
What do you suppose dominates the day-to-day thoughts of those millions of Americans? Poverty!
So what does each morning bring them? Poverty!
It's sickly cyclical (say that five times fast...). Highly functioning and successful people don't place their thoughts, attention, or energy on "what is"; instead, they focus on "what can be."
At his brother's funeral, Robert Kennedy said, "Some men see things as they are and ask, 'why?' Others dream things that never were and ask, 'why not?'"
We are so hard-headed that we continue to think about the circumstances in our lives, and then believe we can turn around and attract to us something entirely different. We think deficit and wish abundance! Can you see where the disconnect is?
Einstein said, "You cannot solve a problem with the same mind that created it." This is so true! If you always do what you always did, you'll always get what you always got. A change must occur somewhere, and your thoughts are the very root of your actions, so let's start there.
Change your thinking, change your life.
*mic drop*
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